From Minneapolis media dude, with love

I should revive this thing

2010-09-07T00:01:00.002-06:00

I should revive this blog, though it's been a good 10 months or so since I've updated it. I think I was always self-conscious that something I wrote here would be traced back to me, held against me, considering the work I do. Maybe that's over-rating my importaance in the world, but whatever. I've seen "objective" reporters and media types challenged for political stances attributed to them based on little things in their work or personal lives ... a bumper sticker left on an editor's desk becomes supposed proof in a rival community newspaper's column that the editor is a supporter of that candidate in a close election, etc. etc. People will use anything to get you off a certain beat or a certain avenue of investigation when they feel you're upsetting their apple cart and undermining their agenda.

It's late, I am watching a film before bed, but a few tidbits before I nod off. There was a column in Time Magazine about race and happiness... they've been polling people of different races for decades to see who is happiest. Whites are still happier than blacks, but the distance between the two has never been so small. Black women showed the greatest gains in happiness, I guess because of economic and social independence, no longer needing a man to move ahead in the world, something like that. White women showed the biggest drop, I do believe. I'm not surprised. They can be a pretty miserable, petty bunch, all those white female perfectionists out there hovering like helicopters over their children and bursting into tears if dinner isn't perfect. Control freak Type A = Type Bitch in my book. But I'm supposedly an asshole by some standards, so whatever.

Young black men stayed flat. The column said one in three young black men faced incarceration, or something like that, so no wonder happiness doesn't improve for said group. That's sad. Pathetic, too. But mostly sad.

Okay, I'm done criticizing white women and black men. Here's my other rant so I can offend everyone equally.

Ok, I was of the "support the troops -- bring 'em home!" camp for a long time. These wars haven't accomplished much and everyone knows, as soon as we exit IrAQ and Afghanistan, both countries are going to go five ways to hell in a damn handbasket. But lookee here... why would someone sign up for the military now, knowing full well based on media coverage that if you deploy today you're probably going to shoot up some jeep full of a family of civilians, women, kids, maybe infants, as it's desperately trying to pass your Humvee?

I keep reading the same story over and over. "We ordered the jeep to stop. They wouldn't stop. We fired a warning shot. They kept coming. We opened fire. The jeep flipped. When we went to investigate, we found a dead man and wife, their two dead kids, and a dead baby."

It's like clockwork. I've read the same account from so many different soldiers - the one that appeared today was in City Pages, some guy returning from war traumatized. His marriage fell apart, he flipped out at a convenience store, yadda yadda...

I'm sympathetic... to a point. But I'm growing less so. I mean, look here: Knowing that you will quite likely end up shooting innocent people, why would you still sign up for that job? It makes no sense. Absolutely no sense.

I know I haven't fought overseas (I'm too ADHD to go over there, even as a reporter, I fear). But I did lose a friend in Afghanistan. His take on the wars was: this sucks. And it does.

Free write stuff on tiger woods and stuff. Yeah.

2009-12-12T18:48:00.005-06:00

I've been dreaming of refining my opinion-style writing since college, an embarrassingly long time ago. But I suck at it. It's clunky and boring and doesn't say much. Sigh.

Anyhoo, you gotta ejaculate on paper and then refine, refine, refine. Here's my ejaculate, oh yeah:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

America, like Hollywood, needs a hero-athlete to answer its celebrity villains, and maybe vice versa. You got a Mike Tyson, a Carl Everett, a bad boy Denis Rodman? Then it's time for a well-scrubbed Tiger Woods, a shiny Oscar de la Hoya, a made-for-television Alex Rodriguez, a perservering Nancy Kerrigan. Say hello to the White Knights in the briar patch of anti-heroes. Group hug, everybody.

This is what the Buddhists call the auspicious and the inauspicious, the ying and the yang. Darth Vader without Luke? Unthinkable. Now it's time for the media to give Luke a flattering story to tell. Throw in a back-story of adversity and humility. Make 'em an underdog back in the day. That way they can be truly self-made, truly American. The underdog is, afterall, always right.

But here's the rub, and no, it ain't pretty. Captain America was, even in the comic books, the manufactured byproduct of a "super soldier" serum -- a steroidal freak. Superman had daddy issues. You think he's up all night fighting volcanoes the world over for his health? C'mon, Clark was desperate for acceptance.

The Buddhists will tell you the auspicious and the inauspicious aren't so separate. There's a big black chunk of ying in the yang, of yang in the ying. Sure, I'm surprised by Wood's infidelity. But that not surprised.

Look, I won't waste my breath defending a guy who has the gall to cheat on his wife while she's home nursing their 10-month-old (son?). Woods doesn't look so well-flossed anymore. But who are we to have dared to dream that the hero of the golf course was a moral power off the links?

Few of our other heroes have lived up to the hype. Rodriguez didn't just abuse steroids; he guzzled them, all while earning hundreds of millions of dollars that left his teammates cold. Kerrigan? An Olympic ingrate who couldn't stop complaining while headlining a parade at Disneyland. De La Hoya? #$$%%^.

Here's an equation for you. Crime is just a motive that's met an opportunity, expressed like this: Crime = (motive) + (opportunity). What's infidelity but a crime of the heart, a moral mistep against your family? And what law of the universe prevents a celebrity from acting on his or her carnal desires and need for public acceptance?

In other words: Celebrity infidelity = (sex / acceptance) + (infinite opportunity, with untold beautiful women, at any time of day, anywhere in the world).

(And so on...)

Next evolution of porn?

2009-12-06T08:32:00.003-06:00

Been thinking about writing this piece for a long while now... but I don't really have the inside view. Nor do I tune into mainstream porn. hmmm...

PIECE:

Sa Phoen is pushing herself to get back into animation. Mitss Varl gets migraines. XXX suffers from depression. XXX once miscarried a child. And XXX could really, really use an orgasm, a backrub and a chocolate milk.

TRANSITION HERE...

These are tough times for the porn industry, what with so much being given away on the Internet for free. But the women of the sex industry haven't buckled; they've evolved, marketing themselves through their own interactive Web sites, selling their own short sex clips, and broadcasting their every waking thought into the sometimes hazardous world of the social Web.

Despite anything ever imagined by Woody Allen or Russ Meyer or (robot love author), the next evolution for adult film actresses isn't mechanized or holographic or 3-D or laid out in the bizarre contours of virtual reality. In the information age, it's utterly fitting that women who love and have been consumed by sex and exhibitionism marry their neurosis to technology, self-promotion and over-sharing. Whatever the future of the porn industry, the future for porn stars looks a lot like Twitter.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Weight loss = weight loss

2009-11-18T12:47:00.001-06:00

Wow, I'm down to 165 lbs on two different scales, two days in a row, at different times of day. My October entry a month ago had me at 172 lbs.

That's a seven lb. difference. I'll take it!

Personal goals: Running 5 miles at an 8:30-pace

2009-11-11T00:37:00.004-06:00

Well, I think I have a new running goal. I completed the Medtronic 10-mile in early October running a 9:32 pace (i.e. 9:32-minutes per mile). I hadn't slept much nor eaten breakfast nor eaten much at all the entire day before, and I ran 6 miles the night before the race just to make sure I was up to it, so I basically was as far off my peak performance as you can get, haha.

That said, assuming that a 9:30 is a "comfortable" pace for me, I think my new goal should be running 5 miles at 8:30.

That would be a wonderful birthday present to myself in January, though achieving that pace by January might be a little ambitious.

Here's where I'm at: I hit the treadmill for about 45 - 50 painful minutes tonight (5+ miles) averaging a 9:05 pace, with mucho variation between 10 minute miles and 8 minute miles. Those 8-minute miles are killer. I had to take a minute break from the treadmill twice and I almost threw up once, I guess from swallowing my own spit and counting down the minutes outloud to encourage myself. I was dry heaving and running for the bathroom, where I coughed up some saliva while making puke noises. Haha.

I think my next workout will be a fartlek, doing 30 minutes in 90-second intervals of 11, 9:00 and 7:00 pace. If I do 7 rounds of those, I'd be averaging 9-minute miles for 30 minutes. (i.e. running 3 1/3 miles).

For the workout after that, I'd like to run 5 miles without stopping at a pace of 8:57 - 9:10. That'd be a 45-minute workout, even. Not sure if my lungs are up to yet. The backs of my legs (hamstrings?) are tight tonight but otherwise I'm fine after my workout. It's the lungs that always fail me. The cramping feeling in the abs and the muscle aches in my back or neck -- neither of which hit me tonight -- go away, but the lungs always do me in; sometimes even for hours after a run I feel tightness in my chest.

Speaking of pain, I put my training with the personal trainer on hold. I kinda wish I'd never signed up for it. It's $300 I can't afford and the workouts are too intense. I don't want to be a muscle man or a top athlete; I just want to be faster and drop 16 lbs. Sigh. I was like hyperventilating at the end of my first workout, but I went back for another. Silly me.

Well, I stopped going entirely after about four or five workouts because I've been working late but mostly because I've been getting these terrible headaches. They tend to start when I'm doing anything more strenuous than running, especially when I'm changing levels as in a sit-up or push-up. One lasted more than 12 hours and woke me up at night from the pain, so I stayed home from work because I hadn't slept at all. I called my doctor and got referred to a nurse who told me to take more Ibuprofen. Sheesh, thanks. Jerk-ette.

It might have to do with my outdated glasses prescription. I'm wearing an old pair because my existing ones broke months ago, and even those were ready to be replaced.

It could also be my couch-sleeping. I don't sleep on my bed because I prefer the openess of my livingroom and the easy access to my computer, the television and the kitchen. As a result, I've worn down my couch and the cushions don't really give me head and back support. I suspect that my torso weighs more than my legs so I'm basically at an angle when I sleep, with the tips of my toes a centimeter higher than my head. That's not good for blood circulation, I betcha!

Or, I could just have a popped blood vessel in my head. Or all three. Dunno.

Anyway, I resume with the personal trainer on Nov. 30, the Monday after Thanksgiving.

The good news is I'm 168 lbs. tonight, down from 172 whenever my last entry was. But I never trust one weighing, as your weight changes day to day and moment to moment. I ate very lightly today, just a yogurt and granola bar for breakfast and a grilled chicken salad from Wendy's with a cup of coffee for dinner, though I drank a rum drink at SAUCE and later drank some O.J. just before weighing myself. It probably cancels out.

My goal continues to be 153 lbs., but I think focusing on speed and frequency of workouts, rather than weight, is smarter, healthier and more sustainable in the long-term.

Okay, this must be the most boring blog post ever. I sure hope no one is reading this!

Weight loss = weight gain

2009-10-17T13:20:00.002-06:00

Listening to "Modest Mouse" and their album "Good News for People Who Like Bad News"... they rock. I heart music.

So, two different scales tell me I'm at 172 lbs. I guess I've actually gained weight over the summer. Oh, man, that was the opposite of what I've intended. I'm kind of amazed. I was sure I was below 167. I don't feel 172.

I do feel a little more solid than I have been before, even though I haven't been doing virtually any upper body work. I kind of think this 172 lbs. suits me in this cold, hearty Minnesotan environment. That said, what I see when I look in the mirror is so different from what I see when I look at myself in pictures. I'm sometimes pretty round-faced in pics, which I dislike.

Plus, people tease me about my weight (including my recent ex-girlfriend, who really pissed me off bringing it up a lot one weekend in particular) and that's just annoying.

I've tried to eat healthier lunches but night time is tough. I catch up on missing calories, and when I'm having a late-night beer, I automatically reach for pizza or quesadillas, and a fair amount of them.

Sigh. I know the answer: run 5 miles every other day. Nobody who runs 5 miles every other day is overweight, I don't think.

I'm just disappointed because I've been running a bit, though to be fair, not much more than once a week. I guess no one loses weight working out once a week. I did a 10-mile road race and a little hiking this summer, and I think my lower body looks more muscular as a result, but my tummy is sizable when I slouch or touch my toes. Sigh.

Things that shouldn't be done but are done

2009-09-01T22:30:00.003-06:00

Everyone is entitled to at least one strange fetish but it has to be consensual, folks! And when it goes so far as to involve children and poop, makes me wanna call the cops!

I just got back from climbing in the White Mountains, so I'm especially sensitive to this little bit of fecal tom-foolery. Sigh.

From the Associated Press:
Man admits crawling into outhouse pit _ again
(AP) – 23 minutes ago
PORTLAND, Maine — A Maine man caught peering up at a girl from below an outhouse toilet seat four years ago stands accused of crawling into another pit toilet on White Mountain National Forest property in New Hampshire. A federal affidavit indicates a 49-year-old man confessed to repeating his previous act on Memorial Day.
Federal agents sought the man out after a 9-year-old boy saw him climbing out of a toilet at the Hastings Campground. Two witnesses saw him walk away from the outhouse.
Forest Service special agent William Fors wrote that the man initially said he climbed into the waste-filled pit to retrieve a T-shirt. Four years ago, he said he was retrieving his wedding ring.
Fors wrote the man eventually confessed climbing into outhouse pits on more than two occasions.

MGMT, "KIDS"

2009-08-30T11:46:00.006-06:00

Damn, this video is so wrong to this poor little baby! And I think that's his mother in the video. But the song plays on 89.3 FM, and it's a great song!

For some reason, I can't copy and paste the code (only half of it pastes), so here's the link. The band is called Management and the song is called "KIDS":

Video of MGMT with "KIDS"

If you can make any sense of the lyrics, you're a better man (or woman) than me...

Lyrics courtesy of MetroLyrics.com

You were a child,
crawlin' on your knees toward it.
Makin' mama so proud,
but your voice was too loud.

We like to watch you laughing.
You pick the insects off plants.
No time to think of consequences.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

The water is warm,
but its sending me shivers.
A baby is born,
crying out for attention.
Memories fade,
like looking through a fogged mirror
Decisions to decisions are made and not fought
But I thought,
this wouldn't hurt a lot.
I guess not.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Boy did I get round!

2009-08-08T00:00:00.001-06:00

Well, I've officially tipped the scale at 170 lbs... that's what not running and not exercising will do to you!

My new goal is to drop 15 lbs. in 15 weeks ... and get to 155 lbs. by the end of November. Hmmmm....

Matt and Kim

2009-06-21T14:24:00.004-06:00

I love the group Matt and Kim. They're real-life sweethearts, met in art school, and live in Brooklyn, which adds to their other-worldly appeal. Kim's face when she drums is like this other-worldly ecstasy. I wish I had a hobby that drove me to such orgasmic heights. They look like they really enjoy performing .... oh, and they take their shirts off in every video I've seen!

MATT AND KIM - YEA YEAH

POEM ABOUT GOD AND DROWNING

2009-06-15T23:40:00.005-06:00

POEM ABOUT ALL OF HUMANITY AND EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, ALL AT ONCE

It's said that God provides
but then how do you explain
drowning

I hear the battle hymn of the Christian faithful
in the moments before the explosion
of that doomed flight over New York
the one where the body parts of Latin travelers
landed in the back yards of their loved ones
or the harbor

Maybe you can draw some parallel to Job
but Job woke from his nightmare, tested
and I know some never rise
They land in Chernobyl, Auschwitz, ovens

The Hebrews debate the old word, Timshel
Thou shalt triumph over sin (predestination; some of us are effed)
Do thou triumph over sin (obedience; go flog yourself)
Though mayest triumph (hope)

I believe in God, I'll stick with hope
knowing, as I do, that sometimes
it just don't float.

-- END --

2009-06-01T21:27:00.003-06:00

So I was in the bathroom today at work, feeling groggy... when I was overcome by a story, sumpthin' fierce, I tell ya. It's pretty brutal, but it doesn't start out that way. I've been reading McSweeny's fantastical stories or something of the like, and this one jumped out at me...

Considering how awful my niece has behaved recently, I think the motivation here is clear: kids can act like animals! Here goes:

A little girl is sitting in her third grade classroom, and she sees a guy dressed in a monkey suit poking his head in the door. No one else sees him at first. The monkey suit is obviously a suit, brownish, but the eyes and hands are freaky. They don't look suit-like. They look real.

He keeps popping his head in, catching her attention, disappearing. She sits near the back of the close, sideways, so she has a good view of him. But other kids start noticing too.

The story switches to little vignettes -- her uncle once wore a monkey mask like this, to scare her at the zoo; her father told her a monkey had once bit him, and he'd been sick for days, nearly died; there is a bratty girl in her class who has big bags under her eyes but who is popular just by being so aggressive and mean in her personality, that girl has a little tag-along follower, and the bratty girl implies to the other girls she may have been molested, though she does so as a boast, like "I've kissed boys twice my age!" (she's nine); the protagonist of the story doesn't get along with the bratty girl, though the protagonist is also quietly popular with two other girls always competing to sit next to her on the school bus. She's just as happy to sit alone, though, and stare out the window, plotting what she's going to draw next. she's an artist. Also, in first grade, the teacher loved her so much, she brought her an apple (she read it in a book), and on the last day the teacher hugged her hard and kissed her on the cheek. You're wonderful, she thought to herself, or something like that. But she had the same teacher for second and third grade, and this one doesn't seem to care much for her, and has her sit at the back of the class.

The mean girl with the bags under her eyes eventually sees the monkey (by this time, a little nervous ripple is going through the class; only the teacher is busy preparing her lesson at the chalk board while the girls work in teams on projects). She and her tag-along friend look scared. The monkey motions to her, and the girl walks to the back of the room, near the exit, turns to the class, curtsies sadly, head bowed, eyes downcast, and walks out in the direction of the monkey.

Insert a vignette here.

Now, back to the classroom. The monkey, who has stooped, monkey like movements, is suddenly back in the doorway, howling. Even the teacher turns around. THe girl recognizes him. Of course! So familiar, he is! He raises himself up to his full height. Then he swivels so his upper body is out of eyesight. He's reaching for something .... it's the bratty girl's body! She's all broken up and stuff, with her head facing the wrong way, looking lifelessly at the classroom (I forgot to mention it's an all-girls academy). The monkey tosses the body into the classroom, where it knocks the teacher's desk. Everyone screams and goes running, most kids jumping out the window. One girl lands and her ankle goes pop. Another girl helps her.

Hey, I did say it's a brutal story, and I've been reading fantasy / horror type stories!

The monkey jumps into the classroom and rips up the teacher, gnashing at her eyes and throat with his hands (he's wearing a monkey mask, so no mouth).

The fat girl in the classroom is frozen. The protagonist is frozen. The tag-along to the bratty girl is hiding in the corner.

The monkey looks at the fat girl, who pees herself. He bows and motions for her to leave. She can't. He does a mighty kick, like a spinning drop kick and slaps her in the ass with his monkey foot. She goes half-running, half-hurtling for the door, safe and unharmed. SHe escapes. he turns to the tag-along in the corner, grabs her, and breaks her neck. Then he turns to the protagonist, who has done nothing all this time but stare.

He kinda takes a seat on the floor next to her, so he's looking up at her. After a long moment, she says, "You've really made a mess here." The monkey looks sad, downcast, stares at the floor. "Please try to be neater next time, okay?" The monkey looks up, and she kinda strokes his head and scratches him under the chin. His eyes are fascinated and familiar. They begin to giggle together. The end.

Wow. I dunno if I could ever write this one, and if I had the talent to do it justice, who would publish it!

The intro quote, beneath the title, would say: "Little girls and ferocious men in monkey suits are not always so distinct."

Man, I think I could be a horror writer, if only I'd practice the craft. My mind works in such a way that I can see odd moments, some beautiful, some awful, some just bizarre. I just need a little stimulus and it comes -- scenes, vignettes. I combine something I heard, with something I've read, with something I've experienced, and poof! The scene is in my head. But I never write it down in time. And by the time I do, it's crap. Maybe it was always crap.

I really want to slow down the moment of recognition so that when she sees the monkey and recognizes who it is in the doorway, she thinks to herself:

The monkey!

Stella gasped in recognition as the monkey raised himself to his full height, suddenly occupying every inch of the doorway, arms outstretched and anger bellowing. For the first time, he was making noise, and it was a terrible noise. His howls sounded like monkeys screaming before some tribal animal war; but not just one monkey, so many of them, a dozen at least, all of them furious and committed to clawing and biting whatever enemy, real or perceived, had the misfortune of standing before them.

The monkey! The monkey! The monkey!

Every girl saw and heard the monkey now. How could they not? Even Mrs. Rosen saw and heard. There was so much screaming. Fat Lucy was crying and so was tag-along Susie. So were the others. The monkey suddenly swiveled his upper body down to the side, his legs planted in the doorway but his torso obscured. He was reaching for something out of eyesight.

And then it was in his arms, offered to the classroom like a gift. It was bitchy bratty Cassie, or what was left of her. Her head hung crazily, facing the girls with wide, lifeless eyes, a red ribbon of blood threading her nose to her chin. Her body faced the wrong direction, a broken doll. He'd snapped her neck.

The girls were all screaming, all crying, even Mrs. Rosen was crying. The monkey was in the room now, lifting bitchy bratty Cassie above his head. And then he threw her.

She cut through the air like a flopping sack, legs and arms a jumble, and hit the hard front of Mrs. Rosen's table with a ka-thump. A second whump as she bounced to the floor. Chest to the ground, Cassie's doll head stared up toward the desks to the right of Mrs. Rosen, her eyes still open. Tag-along Susie met her lifeless gaze and instantly became silent. She could no longer scream or cry. They stared at each other, the living girl and the dead.

The monkey was upon everyone now, chasing the wannabe-twins and the tall girl and the shortest of the short. Girls were pushing open the window, crawling over the sill. It was a half-story drop. They dropped. Stella saw dark-haired Annie land awkwardly, her left foot splayed on its side. She moaned. Jenny Liu was helping her up, pulling her to her feet. They were running off now, Annie limping. They would be safe.

The monkey pressed his face close to one of the new girls and growled, his monkey paws in the air; an awful noise. She screamed, then ran around him to the window, another found the door. He chased after another, then another. But they all made it away. Well, almost all.

The monkey locked stares with Mrs. Rosen.

"Please," she whispered, clutching at her own face.

But it was too late. The monkey was sailing through the air, ripping at her eyes and at her throat. Stella hadn't noticed anything like claws on the monkey before, but they must have been there now. It was short work; a disaster. The monkey was relentless.

Mrs. Rosen's ruined body sank in shreds to the floor, a scrap of her falling from the monkey's paws a moment later, a bloodied afterthought. Only three girls remained. The monkey turned for a moment to tag-along Susie, who still had not made a new sound. He turned to Fat Lucy. She was crying quietly, her chin bubbling, standing in the middle of the room. The monkey looked Lucy up and down, up and down, then dropped to his haunches. A large wet stain formed across her pants.

He raised himself up a bit. And then the monkey bowed.

With a little flourish of his bloodied monkey paw, he motioned from his bow toward the door. Fat Lucy stood still as the earth itself, a lake of tears slipping off her face. The monkey righted himself and bowed again. Again, with the flourish of his hand. She was free to go.

Fat Lucy did not move. The monkey raised himself, reared back, rocked, and Lucy's chubby face became amazingly taut. This would be the end for her.

The monkey moved to the left quickly, then back to the right, snapping his legs around him in one 360-degree rotation. A roundhouse kick. His monkey paw hit Fat Lucy square in the seat of her pants; her body, lifted, swam toward the exit a centimeter ahead of her feet. She was out the classroom exit and tumbling down the hallway. She caught her balance by the landing. She was down the steps and off through the schoolhouse doors. She was almost home.

Other than the impression of his monkey toes in her ass, she was safe.

Then the monkey turned toward Tag-along Susie, who had finally taken refuge in the corner. She was curled in a ball, arms clasped around her head, still in silence. The monkey stepped forward. Grabbed her up in his arms. Stella couldn't see what was happening, with the monkey's brown body blocking her view. She heard a snap. Susie fell to the ground. Her eyes caught Stella straight-on from the corner, her body was crumpled toward the wall.

Susie was dead.

The monkey wasn't finished.

He turned toward Stella. He looked down at her from his full height. Stella looked up from her chair. She hadn't moved, screamed or cried. She had just watched.

He took one step, then another. He was right there before her now.

He dropped slowly to the ground, beside and beneath her. She stared into his wild, human eyes.

They remained there for a long moment, an eternity. The room was no longer a room but a ruins of desks and chairs, three bodies, broken glass, papers and books, pens and pencils, art projects that would never be finished. It was a disaster.

"Oh monkey," Stella said finally, "you've really made a mess here."

The monkey dropped his gaze toward the floor, and a sag went into his shoulders.

Stella shook her head.

"It's okay," she said, taking his cheek in one hand and lifting his face, scratching the top of his fuzzy head with the other. "Just try to be neater next time, you promise?"

The monkey looked at her, his joyful, familiar eyes fascinated and shining. He snorted. Stella giggled. They would be good together, this team, she seemed to be saying. And they both laughed until they fell down dizzy, happy to be so alive.

THE END

Pioneer Press, STRIB in snip snip mode

2009-05-21T01:30:00.002-06:00

The Pioneer Press and the Star Tribune are both dumping water out of the canoe like nobody's business.

It appears the PiPress needs to cut $2 - $3 million out of the company budget this year, and most of it from the already stark-thin newsroom. What gives?

The Star Tribune may be a bigger ship, but it has been losing so much money, it's arguably in worse shape. (That paper declared bankruptcy not long ago).

Here's more:
http://www.minnpost.com/braublog/2009/05/20/8978/pioneer_press_newsroom_slammed_with_24_million_cut_demand

My two cents is this: You may think newspapers are irrelevant, but so much of what you read on the 'net from the AP, or see blogged about, or hear on television or on the radio, began with the paper. Mass media "retweets" what the newspapers go out and collect, see? It has to start somewhere....

Trent Reznor -- engaged!

2009-05-20T21:20:00.003-06:00

Why am I always the last to know this stuff?

And who the heck is this Mariqueen woman? She's in the band West Indian Girl. Sounds familiar. I think I heard them on the radio. Hrmmmm..... Can't place them, though. Does she sing for them? Dance? She looks a bit like a stripper. Kinda strange-faced. But still (oddly) pretty.

Reznor used to be super-private. Now, any thought he thinks goes straight to Twitter. It's funny, a lot of rockers are like that, I think, because they can bypass the media and tell their thoughts straight to their fans...

Here's a hot picture of Mariqueen, but her band mate needs to practice the whole alluring sex bomb thing. The blondie looks a tad Minnesota nice here:

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=239582939&albumID=745633&imageID=4406229

Here's her Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/mariqueenmaandig

Ok OK she's officially a super hot gorgeous sex bomb here:
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=239582939&albumId=210605&page=2

Scenes in my head

2009-05-02T01:02:00.004-06:00

Okay where to begin? Typing in the dark is deefeecult... But it's 2 a.m. and I'm as awake as rain, if that makes any sense. I left work early today and crashed at 5 p.m til 1:30 a.m. My weird schedule has me completely spent. Gotta work on getting the whole sleep schedule thing under control. The issue last night was that I worked late and didn't fall asleep until after 2 a.m. or so, and I had to be up before 7 a.m. to take a relative to a conference. First alarm went off at 6 a.m. Youch. I was already sleep-deprived to begin with.

There are two stories rumbling around in my head, and they've been beating at the inner membrane for months now. The problem is, they're more like scenes, not words. As in movie scenes. One would look great animated. But on paper? I don't know if I have it in me. I haven't written a short story since high school, that I can remember. I tried something or other in college, without success.

I haven't read fantasy-fiction of the spaceship or wizards and warriors variety since probably middle school... but these two stories definitely fit the fantasy bill. I wonder why? I don't think I'd be very good at writing fantasy, seeing as it bores me to read about these elaborately drummed up societies and caste systems and feudal worlds, with all their maps and heavy verbiage. Nope, never got into Dune.

But tonight I put some meat on the bone, at least internally. I woke up with a bit of a back-story on the tip of my tongue... The character's name is Berlin Strummer. He's in a bit of an amalgm world, kind of like Flash Gordon or the animated film Heavy Metal, where there are both robots and planes, but also wizards and warriors (I think). Tonight I decided he is the son of "visitors"... Earth-humans who came to the planet he grew up on before he was born. Or maybe he was born in space? Hmmmm... I was thinking mom was from Argentina and dad was from Minnesota, mostly because I like the idea of him trying to remember and then sound out the words.

Where I started with Berlin Strummer in my head was that he was on a cliff, surrounded by "the enemy." He had a gun or some kind of weapon, but he was reluctant to use it because the bad guys had turned his family or friends into mind-controlled weirdos, zombie-ish or flesh-eating. If this were animated, the 'camera' would pan across grandma and grandpa, mom and dad, and then little Timmy -- who is growling with his hands clawing at the air. It'd be comic I tell you. Comic. But not so comic that Timmy would actually be saying, "Brains!"

Anyway, Berlin isn't about to shoot his family or adopted family or teamates or whoever they are on that cliff. So he says, audibly, but quietly, "I'm sorry," fingers his weapon, and then he falls backwards, off the cliff.

He's scared but kinda making his peace with death internally as he's falling. That's when -- badda bing! -- this lithe winged angel-creature shows up. We would have introduced her earlier as a captive of the bad guys, or a carnivale attraction held against her will. Anyhoo, she's all giant wings and feathers, and she doesn't so much catch him and get tangled up with him, and they fall earthward in a ball. It's mildly sexual, see? But innocent. Funny, if it's written write.

There's also "the little man." He's a midget (little person?) who rides a flying skateboard. The only problem with this character is it's so familiar, I'm afraid I might have plucked him from Heavy Metal. In any case, little man and Nimh (the winged woman) manage to prop up Berlin Strummer, and he falls to the ground a-okay.

I had different takes in my head... Instead of Nimh and little man, a Mytzylplk-like character shows up (that's the all powerful trickster from Superman who doesn't really mean the protagonist any harm but likes toying with him, like Q on Star Trek). I think I'll scratch that.

Well, it's tough to write a story around a scene. You're beginning in the middle. I gotta get my character to the cliff, and off the cliff. Hmmm.. I'm getting sleepy.

My second story is even more involved. There's a girl who wants to defeat this creature or bad person who has the entire world living in fear. The world is really a collection of tribes, loosely but not necessarily exclusively based on race. Each one has a different skill -- Asians have martial arts, African tribe has the spear, Indians have arrows, etc etc. There's a white kid from a kind of Nordic Viking tribe, who has Thor's hammer or something.

But she's the only girl, about 14, and she's the leader of a group of boys, one from each tribe. They're off to defeat the monster... but she gets them all killed. Maybe they just get turned to stone or something in a kind of "final battle." In any case, they're done for.

She's kind of a proud leader. So right before her own death, she casts a wish to put others before herself, or something like that. Basically, she learns humility. The moment that she learns that, the kids are returned to life. She still fails to kill the monster, but somehow, a minor character (lets say a gnome-like creature that they carry as a mascot) is able to televise her plight to all the tribes all over the world, and then channel the power of all the tribes in a kind of spiritual ultimate weapon aimed at the creature.

It sounds goofy, I know, but you gotta think big. Big! Like soda pop. Whoever invented that wasn't no small thinker, no sir.

I have a bunch of characters and scenes in my noodle, but they're mostly just that-- scenes. There's no story around them, at least, not really.

In one, there's a team of space mercenaries who are shipping cargo illegally for some evil empire, until they realize the cargo is children from the major planets around their galaxy. They're furious and they switch sides. The most self-serving and wimpy of the bunch lures the bad guys into thinking he's on their side, but then he blows up their "mother ship" or does something equally courageous. I've thought at times that he has hidden tentacles and rooms in his stomach that can store devices. So he hides poison gas in his tummy... but it's not poison to him. I've also thought that the captain of his ship, who is more respectable, blows up the mother ship, but then this tentacle dude teleports onto the ship before it pops and takes the captain's place (there's only one teleportation device, and it's one person per trip).

At some other point, I've thought of pairing these mercenaries up with their opposite-sex counterparts (there would be one lesbian couple) on the same planet that Berlin Strummer is from. Hmmm....

Somewhere in the child-trafficking story is the story of a girl and her baby cousins or baby brother. She gets captured and place in a cargo container, which is presented to the king of this warrior-race that is doing the trafficking, on his homeworld. The problem is that the homeworld is oblivious to the trafficking, which is being conducted by the king's son out in space for huge profit. The son is maybe telling the king he's protecting shipping channels or mining or fur trading or something. But somehow the king gets to sample the wares. He's an odious Jabba the Hut-like lump with lots of tentacles. The queen, in contrast, is this sexy warrior Ninja. Her body guard, the sergeant at arms, is the strong, silent type and it's implied that they're lovers. He has kind of a Native American warrior ambience to him.

Anyhoo, the king sends the sergeant at arms to open the cargo box... and out pops the girl, shivering and shaking, with the baby cousins clutching her legs and huddled behind her. She has a bow and arrow in her hand and she lets it rip. It hits the sergeant at arms in the arm, but he barely does more than flinch, more intrigued than injured.

The corrupt son sends his men to kill the girl but the Jabba the Hut creature rips their heads off. with a tentacle. He wants to know why there are kids in the cargo box. Slowly, the son's subterfuge begins to unravel. The queen takes the girl under her wing, and she and the sergeant at arms and her maids in waiting (who are also, secretly, trained ninja body guards) travel into space with the girl to see for themselves, and somehow enter the fight.

Okay, it's 3 a.m., and Im outta here!

Today was gratifying

2009-04-24T00:56:00.003-06:00

Today was busy, gratifying, almost complete. I loved my job today, even though I made my first phonecall at 8:30 a.m. and my last one at 9:30 p.m., and then took a call from my editor probably 20 minutes after that.

Maybe it's wrong of me to enjoy what I do so much on days like today. I covered the aftermath of a homicide and a political story. But they felt meaty; weighty; good.

I did not work out and breakfast was a little fatty, but overall I had light meals and healthy ones, to boot. Only problem is it's 2 a.m. and I'm still up! :)

Matt and Kim, "Lessons Learned"

2009-04-21T23:52:00.003-06:00

They're just the cutest...!!!

I would do this in Times Square, too. Provided I could keep my socks on until the end...

Merlin's Rest and french fries in malt vinegar, plus some

2009-04-20T22:25:00.002-06:00

I discovered a new great food stuff tonight, and yes, it's worth any corresponding fats and greases...

French Fries. In Malt Vinegar. With mint sauce (light oil-based sauce, not the creamy kind). And ketchup.

Went to Lake Street pub called Merlin's Rest for its two-year anniversary. It was the owner's birthday and my friend's birthday, all rolled up into one. Good times...!

Mixed results

2009-04-19T23:23:00.002-06:00

I gained a pound.

Or something like that. Every scale gives me a different result. The one at work tells me I'm 164 lbs. The ones at the gym tell me I'm 169 before my workout, 167 lbs. afterwards...

That would suggest I'm actually about 168, perhaps?

Which means ... no change at all.

I haven't really been working out more than once or twice a week, if that, so I have no reason to complain, I guess. Though weight gain while I am trying to lose weight is / would be depressing.

Sigh...

I need to break out of my funk. I wish I'd read more today / tonight. I did get to the newspaper and the gym, and an important errand. But still, my weekends are not productive enough. Gotta enroll in a class or something...

25 saddest songs of all time?

2009-04-18T11:53:00.002-06:00

I won't pretend to know all these songs, but here's a list I found of the 25 saddest songs of all time. I certainly agree with some of these, like BRICK by Ben Folds Five, and Jeff Buckley's version of HALLELUJAH.

Listen here:

http://www.spinner.com/2007/05/04/the-25-most-exquisitely-sad-songs-in-the-whole-world-no-11/

Tiny parents

2009-04-14T00:28:00.003-06:00

Can't sleep. I was, er, in the bathroom and a few simple lines came to me. I made some tea, munched some food, and came upstairs. Now I'm trying to recall them, and it's not coming out anywhere as crisp and clean. Here's my best effort at remembering:

Tiny parents, OR: At 32, 64, and 67, respectively

When did my parents become so
small, I don't remember this of them. They are as short now
as they were once endless.

My nephew, who is 3, kisses the white t-shirt holding my father's belly
and says, "Big tummy." I remember holding him there,
and wondering if he were Santa Claus.

Some eternal magic, a happy mystery,
this great love that does not end.
I was too young to understand
that they do.

Joyride (I saw the film)

2009-04-10T23:37:00.005-06:00

Man, this video brings back high school memories. Not that high school was fun for me, but still, there's something about musical nostalgia... the song that transports you to another time. I saw this late 80s/ early 90s alt-rock Boston band called TRIBE, briefly, at the second-ever Lollapalooza concert, circa 1992. They disbanded a couple years later, it sounds like.

Their breakout song was "Joyride (I saw the film)." Here it is on MTV's alternative music show, "120 minutes"...

Weight loss?

2009-04-09T23:45:00.003-06:00

Hmmm... I weighed in today at 167 before my workout, and 164 after... That would suggest a quantifiable drop from my previous weight of 168 - 171. Or at least a pound.

That said, I kinda fell asleep before 8 p.m. last night and missed dinner, and then left the house without breakfast (as usual) this morning, and then had a grilled chicken salad from Arby's for lunch. There was a mini danish, half a donut, a brownie and two cups of coffee in there somewhere.

So the 1-lb. drop is probably a result of an empty stomach. But I'll take it!

I celebrated by downing two beers, and fish and chips smothered in malt vinegar at Merlyn's Rest. What can I say? I'm a bad boy...

Bleecker Street Theatre and Rumspringa

2009-04-06T12:58:00.003-06:00

Hey theatre fans! My friend's play, "Rumspringa," just got extended to early May in New York... so he partied like a rock star with Hugh Jackman (aka Wolverine) this weekend.

Here's his note:

Date: Monday, April 6, 2009, 12:32 PM

We've been extended through May 2nd, so come join us any Thursday, Friday, or Saturday at 8pm through April. There's plenty of B-Dog Magic Big Gulp to go around.

www.amishrave.com

here's the plot from the Web site:

WHAT IS A RUMSPRINGA?

Rumspringa is a rite of passage for many Amish teens describing a period where they temporarily break away from the church and it’s teachings to see what life is like “on the outside” of the Amish culture. Periodically “Rumspringa” gatherings occur in cornfields at night where Amish (and non-Amish) adolescents congregate. At these gatherings, many of the Amish teens wear “English” clothing, drink alcohol, and some participate in illicit drug use. The idea of such gatherings was the inspiration behind the new Off-Broadway play, “Rumspringa".

SYNOPSIS

On a cold December night, 57 year old married software executive, Steve meets 28 year old surfer, Brandon on Southwest flight 1049 from LAX to Chicago. Brandon is on his way to visit a love interest, Cecily, an expatriate riverboat casino blackjack dealer living in Joliet, Illinois. Meanwhile, an ominous rave party is percolating in a nearby Indiana cornfield - organized by a large group of rebellious Amish teenagers. These events set the stage for "Rumspringa", a dark comedy that explores the temptation in all of us to see what it's like on the outside of our own lives - and what can be gained or lost through such an exploration.

history

“Rumspringa” was workshopped in Chicago at Victory Gardens Theatre and at HB Studio in New York City. In October, 2008 it was performed in the public reading series at the Geraldine Page Salon in Chelsea. The play begins Off-Broadway previews on January 29, 2009 at the Bleecker Street Theatre and opens on February 11, 2009.

Childhood rock heroes vs. Sen. John McCain

2009-04-05T00:02:00.001-06:00

I sought out an Irish rock band I was in love with a long, long time ago in the sixth grade -- the Waterboys -- and much to my surprise, discovered that Mike Scott, the lead singer, is not only alive and well, but he's apparently become a bit of an artsy techno-fan.

He updates on Twitter at least 3 times a day, or, as you can see below, nine times in 2 1/2 hours. And unless Twitter is recording his posting time inaccurately because of the different time zone, he's an early riser!

Read up from the bottom. The first TWEET is about Liam Neeson... the rest is directed directly at ex-presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain.

http://twitter.com/MickPuck

Messaging Twitter central to complain about "chisel-chinned fraud" (ie his minions) being able to retroactively delete my messages to him.8:13 AM Mar 19th from web

@SenJohnMcCain Now do us all a favour you chisel-chinned fraud. Retire. Subscribe to Rolling Stone magazine. And shut the feck up.7:38 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to SenJohnMcCain

@SenJohnMcCain Your answers to Steph yesterday were the height of arrogance. 'I wouldn't do this/that..' You LOST the election, charlatan!7:36 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to SenJohnMcCain

@SenJohnMcCain I still meet people fooled by yr concession speech. 'Great speech' they say forgetting all the vile bilge that went before.7:35 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to SenJohnMcCain

@SenJohnMcCain Incredible how you can pontificate on issues w/ straight face after almost foisting Palin on the world. Shameless old fraud!7:34 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to SenJohnMcCain

@SenJohnMcCain Very impressive how you've repositioned yourself as "Mr Principled Guy" after your despicable, ugly, desperate campaign 08.7:34 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to SenJohnMcCain

@GStephanopoulos As for you, ya twit, how you can appear on TV with yr face uncovered after the 2008 Prez debate is a profound mystery.7:30 AM Mar 19th from web in reply to GStephanopoulos

@senjohnmccain I still meet people fooled by yr concession speech. 'Great speech' they say, forgetting all the vile bilge that went before.7:02 AM Mar 19th from web

Morning coffee walk. Thinking about Liam Neeson. Met his missus same year I met mine, knew her same length of time. Very sorry for him.5:42 AM Mar 19th from web

New York Times to Boston Globe: We can close you like that! Poof!

2009-04-03T21:26:00.004-06:00

Well, this is depressing. The New York Times Co., owner of the Boston Globe, is threatening to close Boston / New England's biggest newspaper if the unions don't concede to pay cuts.

New York Times threatens to close Boston Globe

Here's more depressing news, from local quarters:

MediaNews, the Denver-based owner of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, has been slow in paying off its debts. Skipping debt payments was a strategy of the Pioneer Press' main competitor, the Minneapolis Star Tribune, just before declaring bankruptcy.

MediaNews skips payments

Weight loss!

2009-03-30T23:09:00.005-06:00

Okay, so I weighed in today at a somewhat round-in-the-belly 168 1/2 lbs. after getting off the elliptical machine and stripping to my naked core, no towel or nuthin'.

Yesterday, I was 171 lbs. before my treadmill run and 168 lbs. after, but I think the clothing I had on before and lack thereof after contributed to the discrepancy.

I'm sticking to the idea that I weigh 168, and hoping the 171 was, you know, a cruel joke that those pesky electronic scales at the gym sometimes like to play on me. Not funny guys, not funny at all.

For a guy who once wrestled (in high school) at 112 - 114 lbs., my adult heft is quite a change. Naturally, I have no desire to lose 60 lbs. (I'd look like a scary skeleton, or maybe just French.) I do have much desire to drop 15 or even 20.

For now, I'm going to set a smaller goal of losing 8 to 10 lbs ... in seven weeks. That's 1 lb. to 1 1/2 lb. per week... Not a modest task, but, according to
TheDietChannel.com, those who aim to lose no more than one or two lbs. weekly are more likely to keep it off than those who engage in quick-result, fad diets.

So how do I lose a lb. per week? Well, the Diet Channel has 10 tips for me, and because it's on the Internet, they must be true! Actually, the tips are sensible ones that parrot stuff i've heard elsewhere.

Eat slower; do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, five days a week; add weight lifting and cardio to your workout routine; focus on getting healthier, not thinner, etc. I can accomplish this last part by focusing on my running goal. I need to get back below 9-minute miles for my distance runs. I was so much speedier 1 1/2 years ago... sigh. :(

One tip I didn't know:
One pound is equal to 3,500 calories. So to drop 1 lb. a week, you would need to drop 500 calories per day, on average. (Or 700 calories a day for five days, followed by two days off).

There's two ways of going about this: you could drop 250 calories from your daily intake (i.e. skip dessert) and then exercise for 30 minutes, and drop another 250. Or, the way I figure it, keep your caloric intake more or less the same while exercising for an hour per day.

This latter option is actually hard to do because our tendency is to eat more once we start expending a lot of energy (and if you've ever run for an hour, which is six miles or more, you realize you are using quite a bit of energy!).

Still, thinking this way gives me hope. As long as I can take 700 calories off a day, five days a week, I can drop seven lbs in 7 weeks... If I can push it a little harder, I can drop 10 lbs. in seven weeks.

March 29 was my first way-in date... April 16 will be my final weigh-in date! Yippee yee haw.

Ann Arbor News to shut down after 174 years

2009-03-24T21:24:00.002-06:00

There's some disheartening news from the world of news, and no, this time I'm not talking about the decline of the American newspaper.

I'm talking about Saudi Arabian religious leaders, calling for an end to women in the media. That means no women in magazines, no women on television, no women, period. Don't believe me? Believe Yahoo News:

Saudi clerics want women banned from TV, media
"There should be no Saudi woman on television, in any case," they said.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090324/lf_afp/saudireligionwomenrightsmedia

But for every really depressing story about the evils that men do (and yes, I said MEN; I pity, sympathize, and emphathize with my brethren on many occassions, but this is just sicko shit) there's also a bit of light and happiness.

For instance, in Thai land, a firefighter was at a loss in how to coax a scared autistic boy off a dangerous ledge. Suddenly, a brainstorm. He got dressed up as Spiderman.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090324/od_afp/thailandchildrenoffbeat;_ylt=Ah_SNge0hOIt5F9o7inKxckeO7gF

Okay, back to the depressing stuff.

The Ann Arbor News, which has published continuously in Ann Arbor, Michigan since 1835, is closing down in July. A new Web site company will take its place. It's a small paper, circulation 45,000 -- about 1/5th the size of the Pioneer Press. But it's still depressing.

http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2009/03/ann_arbor_news_to_close_in_jul.html

not. fun.

Sylvia Plath's son commits suicide

2009-03-23T21:03:00.002-06:00

Jeez, poets are a lonely, miserable lot! This is like the Kennedy curse, the Jeff Buckley curse, the ... the... I dunno what else curse...

FROM:

MSNBC

LONDON - Nicholas Hughes, the son of poets Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes, has killed himself, 46 years after his mother committed suicide and almost 40 years to the day after his stepmother, Assia Wevill, did the same. He was 47.

Hughes, who was not married and had no children, hanged himself at his home March 16, Alaska State Troopers said. An evolutionary biologist, he spent more than a decade on the faculty of the University of Alaska Fairbanks. Marmian Grimes, the university's senior public information officer, said he left about a year ago.

From the time that Plath died, in 1963, Ted Hughes tried to protect and strengthen their children, Frieda and Nicholas, from their mother's fate and fame. He burned the last volume of his wife's journals, a decision strongly criticized by scholars and fans, and waited years to tell his children the full details of Plath's suicide.

----

Why we should appreciate this lousy recession

2009-03-11T21:21:00.007-06:00

Ever seen "American Psycho?" I think the one good thing about recessions is that the psychotic metrosexual serial killers no longer have reason to bash a corporate partner to death in the men's room because the font on his businesscard is nicer than their own.

Actually, there are lots of good things about recession. It evens the playing field a bit, returns us to an earlier American dream (fantasy?) of equality and brotherhood and all that. Misery loves company, and no matter how successfully you rose above the masses in your previous outfit, we're all one and the same when we're standing together in the bread line. Or drinking together at the bar ... before noon.

That's what inspired me to recall that scene in American Psycho. When too much money goes flying around, people get pretty annoying. The prissy Stepford wives of America with their botox lips and implant bosoms, the flashy mortgage brokers with their high-end import autos, the Ivy League hotshot who makes corporate vice president at age 24 ... suddenly, it's no longer cool to have too much. Showing off when the guy next to you is losing his house isn't so much fun anymore, I suspect. It's certainly a lot easier to resent. You just got a male pedicure? Not cool. Not cool at all, bro. Maybe it never was.

Okay, enough of that. Let's channel some positive energy now...

There are other things to appreciate about recession, beyond the equalizing lousiness of it. For instance, dirt-cheap home sales is one, bargain airplane tickets is another.

Don't forget vacation deals in exotic locales you couldn't afford before (three nights free at Disney World when you pay for four? Woo-hoo!), and also all those job opportunities in those odd industries and venues that are prospering even as the economy flails, like schools, biotech, environmental consulting, Internet search engine companies and companies that specialize in designing Internet advertisements, pawn shops, and accounting firms, to name a few.

Finally, enjoy the run on breakfast cereal (it's what's for dinner in many American families. I kid you not.)

Here's more ideas from:

Slate Magazine -- In terms of our economic competitiveness, the recession will make the U.S. a better international player in the long run.

Careerrealism.com -- A great opportunity to re-invent yourself professionally, rationalize and explain away why you were terminated, and stop judging others by job title.

And don't forget: Cheap stocks!

What would you add to this list? Hey, this couple thought it would be terrible after dad lost his job as a forklift operator. They hit the gym together everyday now and their health improved, and they spend more family time than ever before!

Two-part Associated Press series on Michael Bhatia, Pentagon's first social scientist killed in Afghanistan

2009-03-10T00:17:00.003-06:00

Well, it's late, so I'll use this as a placeholder for now, but suffice it to say the Associated Press has written a two-part series about Michael Bhatia, the Pentagon's first social scientist to die in Afghanistan. Mike was a personal friend and old acquaintance. His humvee rolled over an explosive device back in May.

Here's a link, and the top of the piece:

Michael Bhatia, first of two parts

"One man’s odyssey from campus to combat
Michael Bhatia was on the frontlines of a Pentagon experiment

First of two parts

updated 2:29 p.m. CT, Sun., March. 8, 2009
MEDWAY, Mass. - On the overcast New England morning Michael Bhatia came home, nearly 400 of his colleagues, family and friends turned out to meet him.

Seven months had passed since Bhatia, a 31-year-old scholar in international relations from Brown University, hefted his pack across the tarmac at Fort Benning, ready to begin his sixth journey to Afghanistan.

Every trip had come with risks, but this one was the toughest to explain. No one questioned Bhatia's commitment to Afghanistan, but many disagreed sharply with the way he'd chosen to pursue it."

Why didn't anyone tell me music could be this good?

2009-03-02T00:29:00.003-06:00

The SilverSun Pickups have a song called "Three Seed"... and it has me!!!

So what is it about? Abortion, addiction, a street fight, a failed romance?? Others have debated the meaning, here:

SongMeanings.net

An economy built on service is an economy built on selling each other pizzas

2009-03-02T00:11:00.002-06:00

What I understand about economics could fit in a thimble, but I do understand this: this economy sucks. Someone's been asleep at the wheel, and the U.S. stopped producing things that the rest of the world wants to buy along time ago.

We seem to be very good, however, at producing lawyers, which is helpful when we all start suing each other for our failure to stay financially solvent and pay back our (student, small business, large business, mortgage, car, medical) loans.

So I asked my friend, the Internet, to pony up a more academic explanation of "What went wrong?" with the U.S. economy. I came across a couple of interesting Web sites and learned more than I care to recall about banking in 30 seconds of skimming.

Here's an attorney and former Congressional candidate out in Illinois who seems a little bit too conservative for my tastes. He's a former assistant county prosecutor and the author of, of all things, "Get Your Illinois Suspended Driver's License Back: Step by Step Instructions."

But when he talks about U.S. corporations investing more money abroad than at home because, frankly, it's easier, he may be on to something!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"The fact is that current policies that have envisioned the American economy as a service economy and left manufacturing to the rest of the world are truly at the heart of the economic problem. We can only survive so long selling each other pizzas."

FROM:
The Problem with the American Economy, by David J. Shestokas

"Daylight"

2009-02-12T02:12:00.003-06:00

This is the cutest video I've ever seen, so help me oh my stars and stripes and garters:

Art shanties in Minneapolis -- Frozen. Funky. Art.

2009-01-31T19:40:00.002-06:00

FROM: http://3minuteegg.org/

"Six winters ago, Minneapolis artist and art activist Peter Haakon Thompson teamed with David Pitman and other artist friends to construct ice houses and place them for a few freaky, frigid weeks on Medicine Lake, west of Minneapolis. The Art Shanty Projects has since become a January tradition — 20 teams of artists, designers and architects to turn their whimsy into three weeks of reality on the tundra. 3-Minute Egg poked around Saturday’s opening festivities, braving gthe Arctic winds so you don’t have to. Of course, if you care to, the Shanties remain up through February 14."

Layoffs hit the Pioneer Press, Star Tribune newsrooms

2009-01-31T17:40:00.004-06:00

Well, the STRIB has declared bankruptcy but is still printing. Seven people were laid off from the Star Tribune newsroom Friday, with the possibility of six being hired back if anyone else in the newsroom reconsiders and takes the buyout offer, the gossip train calls a pretty meager package. Fat chance.

Layoffs hit the Pioneer Press on Friday, as well. This is the first time my sources can recall the PiPress laying off full-time newsroom staffers. In the past, they've offered voluntary contract buy-outs, reduced their part-time and on-call staff. This is new.

Here's the memo that circulated Friday from the top brass:

Fellow staffers:
We've taken steps this week in reaction to the severe economic downturn and in anticipation of a very challenging 2009 -- including Friday's layoff of four newsroom colleagues.

The layoffs included:

--- Picture editor Randy Johnson

--- Clerk Tom Morley

--- Web producer John Vincent

--- Sports copy editor Tim Whitecotton

Additionally, Cindy Larson, one of our newsroom clerks, and Dick Klitsch, who worked on our sports copy desk, will be moving to the ad production department.

We also eliminated the budget for on-call help on the sports copy desk, most directly affecting five regular on-call contributors: Kyle Anway, Brad Perlich, Travis Petschl, Alexandra Pluym and Val Reichel.

I thank them all. We will miss them and their daily contributions to the work we all do.

I made these moves reluctantly -- but also knowing that I had to, given the immediate and near-future outlook for the economy. My overriding goal was to protect our reporting power. Our ability to continue to produce distinctive journalism that can't be found anywhere else is more important now than it has ever been. And we must produce that work for our online operations, daily newspaper and niche publications.

Towards that end, we're making some other changes. We'll be merging the operations of the news and sports copy desks, to more widely share the load and increase how efficiently we move copy. To help do so, we'll be rearranging desks and asking lots of people to move, including photo and the hub and sports desk staffers on the 6th floor. We'll be moving desks on Monday morning.

What can we all be doing, right here and right now, to help? Journalism. Break exclusive news online and in print. Tell stories that can't be found anywhere else. Find photos that jump off the page and videos that must be watched. Design dynamic illustrations and pages. Write headlines that demand to be read.

Thanks. As always, I'm here for questions. --

Cloud Cult and auto insurance

2009-01-11T23:27:00.005-06:00

The local band "Cloud Cult" has a song on an E-surance (auto insurance) commercial.

Cloud Cult is pretty good and extremely creative. They're definitely an acquired taste. If you listen to their lyrics, you'll find repeated themes in their albums...

The lead singer, Craig Minowa... his son died a while back so the music has a bit of a sing-song quality to it sometimes, with references to toys, and childhood, and then to something more meta-physical... from Jesus to his dead grandfather to the hereafter... thereby connecting death, the afterlife and infancy... Anyway, that's my take on it...

Check out this Advertising Age article about the band's decision to go with Esurance after rejecting other companies because of their "extreme" environmental beliefs

A true Christmas story

2009-01-05T20:33:00.002-06:00

A true story:

When the Scooby Doo gang’s Rube Goldberg trap misfires, the feet of the Mayan Gods land in large metal springs. Suddenly vulnerable, they bounce pogo-like into a nearby pond. Their masks fall away. These are no vengeful, angry gods. It’s the archaeologist and his wife, in disguise!

My youngest nephew’s eyes are small moons of surprise. “They’re just people!” the cute little chub-bucket explains to my older sister, his high-pitched, three-year-old voice an octave higher, his tiny finger crooked toward the television. “The monsters are just people!”

This is what it means to be a kid. On Christmas morning, I come downstairs in a t-shirt and bath towel, an accusatory finger pointed at the wrapped packages under the tree. “Santa brought you all presents,” I shout at my three namesakes. “But he stole my pants!”

They giggle at the thought of a mischievous, thieving Santa. But hours later, at dinner, the cute little chub-bucket recalls a dream he’d had during his nap.

“There was the mummy from Scooby Doo in the closet,” he tells us, in a voice absent humor or irony. “And a really creepy hand. And Santa Claus on the roof. And then he came down into my room. And he stole my pants.”

I am beginning to think my nephew is too impressionable, even for age three.

Candidate for GOP Chairman forwards race-based anti-Obama song

2008-12-28T14:30:00.003-06:00

Yuck... This guy seriously thinks he's going to become chairman of the GOP?

Candidate for GOP chairman shows his true effin' colors

Quantifying corruption - the $42 million Ukranian bribe!

2008-12-28T14:23:00.005-06:00

Some places are so corrupt, you can quantify just how bad. In the Ukraine, they do!

In fact, the government releases bribe totals each year in an annual report. D'oh!

From the Kyiv Post:

"In 2008, more Ukrainian officials than ever got their fingers caught in the cookie jar. This year went down as a record-breaking year in the annals of bribes uncovered by law enforcement. (Given Ukraine’s reputation for corruption, one has to wonder how many bribes escaped the short arm of the law here.) Some 1,500 public servants took bribes in 2008, totaling Hr 91.1 million, the Ministry of Interior Affairs announced on Dec. 19, almost triple last year’s totals. These are the top 10 bribes we found, mostly in the public service and real estate sectors..."

Read more at:
Kyiv Post on 'Top 10 Uncovered Bribes'

P.S. If anyone hears of bribes going on in the Mpls-St. Paul area, please do tell. I'm all ears!!!

Eddy Burke and the Consequences

2008-12-14T10:06:00.011-06:00

The man I wish I was is a bit of a band whore, sleeping around with all kinds of up-and-coming performing artists and name-dropping them at indie rock parties.

That man has never materialized, but I did buy a beer for a few weeks ago at the 440 Bar for a local bluegrass hero, Eddy Burke of Eddy Burke and the Consequences....

We are now friends on MySpace. I did not catch his show at the Acadia last night but if I had, we'd be fist-bumping and swapping groupies and I would have had the harmonica solo. i just know it.

Listen to the second song here with the Consequences, the bluegrass "If I remember":

http://www.myspace.com/199210144

His sadder folk stuff here -- "That Smiling Girl" is a favorite:

http://www.myspace.com/thelegendofeddyburke

Military drops the ball on No. 1 soldier-killer

2008-12-09T02:36:00.004-06:00

GOP SENATOR RAPS MARINES FOR LACK OF BOMB RESISTANT JEEPS

Military commanders in Iraq asked for bomb-resistant jeeps in 2005; Marine leaders decided armored-Humvees would suffice. They didn't, and roadside bombs became the No. 1 killer of U.S. troops.

Says a Republican U.S. Senator and a new Pentagon study to the brass: YOU SUCK!

When it comes to the military, it's easy to adopt stereotypes about the right and left, to fall back on thinking that says Democrats and liberals are anti-war, anti-military slacker types, while the Republicans are all about serving the country and God bless the flag and bomb 'em all and let God sort 'em out...

Those modalities make it all the more fascinating to watch the military get dissected by a Republican leader like U.S. Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo.

More here:

Republican senator lays in on Marines, military

The controversy centers on "MRAP" jeeps that military commanders requested back in 2005 to protect soldiers from roadside bombs, like the one that killed an old college chum of mine in Afghanistan in May. The Marines dragged their feet and the jeeps never arrived; the bombs quickly became the primary weapon in Iraq and the main killer of American soldiers.

Some telling quotes from the AP article:

QUOTE:

"As a result, the department entered into operations in Iraq without having taken available steps to acquire technology to mitigate the known mine and IED risk to soldiers and Marines," the report said.

This is the report's most "damning conclusion," Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo., a critic of the military's wartime procurement practices, said Monday. "It appears that some bureaucrats at the Pentagon have much to explain to the families of American troops who were killed or maimed when a lifesaving solution was within reach," Bond said in an e-mail to the AP.

Here's another choice tidbit:

The February 2005 urgent request for 1,169 MRAPs was signed by then-Brig. Gen. Dennis Hejlik. The Marines could not continue to take "serious and grave casualties" caused by IEDs when a solution was commercially available, wrote Hejlik, who was a commander in western Iraq from June 2004 to February 2005.

Yet despite the stark wording of Hejlik's plea, the request was mishandled and eventually lost in bureaucracy. The inspector general puts most of blame on officials at Marine Corps Command Development Command. Headquartered at Quantico, Va., the command decides what gear to buy.

How my niece learned to see through the wolf-boy and love him too

2008-12-08T01:03:00.004-06:00

A little sumpthin' sumpthin' I've started cookin' up:

Learning to love the wolf boy

The way I explained it to my niece, I'd found the wolf-boy alone, at dusk, howling by the side of the road. True to name, he was half boy, half wolf, a werewolf in miniature, smartly dressed in a blue sweater and slacks, no older than five or six. His mother was nowhere.

My niece, being five herself, was of an age where other children fascinated her. On the 4th of July, after I'd made the mistake of pointing out a boy playing with a handheld sparkler in his driveway, she'd cried for the entire 40-minute ride home, desperate to have us turn the car around for a better look. The children in her pre-school class, the neighbor kids across the street, strangers at the playground -- they were her universe, in parallel. Future friends, acquaintances, even lovers. And enemies too.

The wolf boy wanted to get home. How he got separated from his mother , I'm not sure, and I don't believe my niece ever asked. Fathers were irrelevant in this telling. They often are. But a boy separated from his mother -- that's a story.

We were leaving the indoor playground at...

Chicago Tribune bankrupt and the SoCal gun-for-food trade

2008-12-07T23:20:00.003-06:00

Sigh. You know the economy is bad when the Tribune Co, the owner of the Chicago Tribune and Wrigley Field, is on the verge of filing for bankruptcy ...

...and Compton gangsters are trading their guns for food!!!

Chicago Tribune on the verge of kaput-put-put-ouch-help-fudge

Guns for food in Compton

Can't sleep

2008-11-27T01:35:00.002-06:00

Yuck. Sneezing, itchy throat, runny nose... boogers!

It's the day before Thanksgiving and I feel yucky.

Lately I've been falling asleep before 10 p.m. and waking around 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. Then I'm up all night.

Tonight, I must have fallen asleep around 9 p.m. and woken up at 12:30 a.m. It's 2 a.m. now and I'm wide awake. Yuck.

Achoo! Sniffle sniffle whimper ugh

Poem

2008-11-21T00:25:00.006-06:00

I wrote a poem!

Worked late tonight, went to an Uptown Latin bar, and wrote my little heart out. Don't know why I was thinking of this picture, but it won a Pulitzer in 93 or 94. Then the photog killed himself. I saw a documentary piece on it. So sad.

Sudan, Child crawling toward refugee camp

(For Kevin Carter, Bang Bang Club photographer, September 13, 1960 in Johannesburg – July 27, 1994; suicide)

You failed
to see through false modesties
your arrogant talents tossing you between darkness and light, and into
Africa; where blood-thirst and slaked limbs
ran down the lens of your Nikon, fields of the dead and the dying
mining celestial deserts; and always, always, your Nikon

clicking clicking clicking

Gunmen across the avenue, gunmen at your side as
bullets traced the epilogue of reporters, translators, soldiers, heroes, killers
children; beloved friends, and everywhere, the unnamed everymen, not even yet,
if ever, footnotes in history

Gunmen at the foot and head of your bed as you
slept, gunmen in the jeep next to you
as your zoom settled on the far-off child, the bastard doll
bloated with death, but not dead, a feast for the bird
biding its time, history calling you three together

clicking clicking clicking

You were hated
in your Europe. Comfortable young mothers and fat old sons
feted and condemend you; an orgy of nothing
in the soft brittleness of cultural criticism and afternoon teas

As if the one lives could have meaning in the maw of death,
the canvas of suffering,
the particular above the general.
As if they did not.

how could they know
oh how could they know

of the fields of limbs; the ecstasy and empty suddenness of endings
the void of holy in the heart of the holy

clicking clicking clicking

your gun found your mouth
and by your own hand,

your own hand made history

-- END --

Oh, Missouri!!!

2008-11-21T00:19:00.003-06:00

Who won -- Barack Obama or John McCain?

They're taking a sweet long time to figure that one out in Missouri, where officials in the "show me" state are still counting election results two weeks after the polls closed.

So far, McCain is ahead by more than 4,300 votes out of 2.9 million votes cast. But four (rather large) areas still have yet to get their results in.

Obama can rest easy, however. While he didn't do gangbusters in Missouri, he won 93 percent of the vote in Washington, D.C.

MORE FROM:

Examiner.com

Electoral-vote.com

Eviction Notice -- a little free write about love and stuff

2008-11-16T23:53:00.008-06:00

I sat through a couple of half-day writing seminars at the LOFT literary center (a.ka. OPEN BOOK) in Minneapolis recently. One of them was a bit repetitive, so as I sat in the audience, I got inspired to work on a little piece.

Here it is. Don't know what, if anything, I will do with this, but I'm thinking of calling it "Eviction Notice":

EVICTION NOTICE

Back when we were living together, but shortly before the end, my last serious girlfriend angrily informed me I was not 'detail-oriented' enough. She was territorial about the kitchen and offered this criticism as we shelved canned vegetables together in a lower cabinet. She had more than a tone. Soon afterward, I called my older sister in New York to complain.

"You're not," she confirmed.

Ah, well.

I have learned this much from love: There are things we try to police in ourselves and improve in ourselves, but ultimately we are who we are, until we are changed. I still think my ex-love over-reacted. They were, after all, just vegetables.

Before I keep going, I should say that I am writing this in a certain context: sitting through an eight-hour writing seminar to which I've shown up 39 minutes late on a chilly Saturday morning in downtown Minneapolis; the elections of 2008 are just behind us; my rent is not due but the alarm clock we all keep at the back of our minds keeps fluttering back to the date, as if it were.

An hour's drive north, a 28-year-old man I interviewed in prison on Wednesday must at this moment be by laying in bed in his cell, no doubt meditating on his 2-year-old son, dreaming of his next visit. The prison unit is on "lockdown" because of acts of violence between prisoners, and except for my interview, he and the other men have not left their cells in days.

I had met his child for the first time two days earlier; he called every man "dada," even those flat images of men he saw flickering by on the television screen. Mother had divorced father months earlier. I'd written about them both, back before the child was born, in more hopeful days.

Last night, over goodbye drinks for a departing co-worker, I heard an old story about a school administrator who had a habit of popping Viagra pills and then walking down supermarket aisles in his spandex shorts. My co-workers thought they got him, eventually, on indecent exposure.

I am imagining a middle-aged man, hair like Caesar, pale as most Minnesotans are pale, round at the waist, dressed like an entrant in the Tour de France, trundling to a wide-eyed older woman in the dairy aisle, she of the big blue hat and the winter scarf, the crisp, refrigerator air doing nothing to cool the chemical want between his legs, his offering obvious but never mentioned, a silent hello protruding from beneath small talk about the rising price of Kemps milk.

What no one will understand later and what he cannot fully explain is that this is more than a thrill ride, an obscene bat attack on an unsuspecting mailbox, a sexualized cow tipping. He is not doing this because he can. He is doing this because he must.

I am glad I am not him. Or her.

But I am not sure how it was determined that I be neither of them, that I am me and not them. The soul is unique; our actions are self-chosen; but that's not the half of it. What more, I can't say.

-- cut: There was something else I was going to tell you here, but I have forgotten. --

But consider this:

At the prison I mentioned earlier, the very large associate warden came out to the guest lobby to talk to my photographer before the interview. "You're wanted in New Mexico," the very large associate warden said. "There's a warrant for you -- something about a moving violation."

"But!" my photographer said. "That was! Years ago! I thought! I paid that!"

My photographer has two or three kids. He has a wife he took to the hospital on Monday with what he prays is a cold. He did not want to be locked up with the hurt and the deadly here in Minnesota, not for breaking the speed limit a lifetime ago in New Mexico. His heart beat faster.

They did not arrest him. He promised to get to the bottom of things, to make amends.

Do you know this joke?: "How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans." The writing coach is now telling this joke to the class, and it is apropos.

That is life though. All that planning that we who call ourselves professionals pour into ourselves, it's to move us forward in one direction. But we only set the compass and head out and pray. Where we end up -- that's fate or chance or what have you.

Here's another thought: Who we are when we're miserable or tired and who we are when the sun hits us after a long gray morning are sometimes so different, it's like we've forgotten ourselves and suddenly noticed the forgetting. "I'm back," you want to say. "I feel myself again. I didn't realize I was gone but I'm back."

This may be how an alcoholic feels during lucid times. This feeling hits me often.

That girlfriend I told you about, the one of the canned vegetables. She was beautiful, that one, but it would never have worked between us. When she told me to move out, I asked her why. She said: "I'm not going to tell you. You never listen."

Ah, well.

Let me close the way a good meal starts. Here's my prayer. Here's my constant prayer: I want to let go of self-recrimination without giving up my perpetually-interrupted commitment to self-improvement; to hate my disorganization less while working on it more; to accept me without losing sight of a better me. I want to learn from the past without being tethered to it; I want to forgive everyone, including myself.

I want next year to be better than the last. I want it all fixed up and better. I want all these things and many more. But I expect nothing.

Okie dokie then. Alright. Amen.

"My Antigone" by Chris Drury

2008-11-09T16:12:00.003-06:00

A former co-worker has made the big leap to NYC and broken into the acting and movie-making scene out there.

Here's his latest film trailer, which is in search of backers to go into full production:

My Antigone

And a note from Mr. Drury himself:

Dear Friends,

I hope this note finds you well and wallowing in a late autumn bliss.

As some of you know, I was in the San Francisco Bay Area this past summer shooting scenes from my feature length screenplay MY ANTIGONE.

It was an amazing group of people to work with and I'm happy to be able to present an extended trailer for you to watch here -

www.csdrury.com

I'm currently in the process of pitching the project to investors with an eye towards making the film in the summer of 2009.

If you or someone you know would be interested in receiving any of the following materials please let me know:

- DVD with preview scenes
- Project budget and opportunities for investment
- Detailed story synopsis
- Character breakdown
- Copy of the full screenplay

Thanks for all your support and enjoy the trailer.

-csd

www.csdrury.com

Another tragedy for Human Terrain

2008-11-08T09:29:00.005-06:00

War entails death. That's true by definition. Doesn't make it easy, right or glorious.

So when I read this crap about a female social scientist being set on fire in Afghanistan by a guy who looked like a friendly local, I get sick to my stomach. This academic worked for the Pentagon's Human Terrain project, which in May claimed the life of an old acquaintance whom I loved and respected very, very much.

Wired article: Army Social Scientist Set Afire in Afghanistan

God, what a war.

"Samson" by Regina Spektor... swoon to this!

2008-11-02T23:36:00.003-06:00

Oh. My. God.

I now know love and despair... they are so damn similar!

Samson, by Regina Spektor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8

"you are my sweetest downfall... I loved you first, I loved you first ... and the Bible didn't mention us...."

Man, she's good!

From UrbanDictionary.com - Web site worth knowing!

2008-10-13T21:29:00.004-06:00

Three amazing definitions from UrbanDictionary.com:

October 10: Shoplift the Pooty

When a man sleeps with a single mother with a small child.

Also, when a man expresses false adornment for a women's child in order to sleep with her.

Dude, look at John and Sara. He straight up shoplifted the pooty.

imaginary bluetooth
October 13 480 up, 642 down

An imaginary telephone device popular with riders of public transport, those having manic episodes, paranoid schizophrenics, and just common talk to yourself out loud types.
a. Whoa, dude on the escalator is yakking away to no one and there's no bluetooth in his ear.
b. Imaginary bluetooth in action. Probably on his way to the bus.
by wheaty 36 comments more bluetooth paranoid schizoprenia bus talking to yourself star trek

Shower Tissue
October 12 1699 up, 569 down

When you're in a shower and have to blow your nose. You use your index and thumb and replicate the actions of blowing your nose then letting the shower wash the boogers away.

"Man, the other day I Shower Tissued and it flew onto my face!"
by Jeff Aalms 52 comments more

Newspapers can't be liquidated!

2008-10-13T21:25:00.001-06:00

From a co-worker today:

An AP look at the status of newspaper companies, including Strib . . . and if you were here in the '90s, check out the analyst in the last graf . . .

@Body:

BC-Newspapers-Debt, Adv13,1065

adv13

For use Monday, Oct. 13, and thereafter

Liquidation unlikely as papers miss obligations

Eds: Also moved nationally for use Monday; Note Star Tribune angle.

With BC-Newspapers-Debt-Glance

AP Photo NYBZ182, NYBZ183, NYBZ184

By ANICK JESDANUN

AP Business Writer

NEW YORK (AP) _ Newspaper companies have been skipping loan payments, missing financial targets in debt agreements and accepting higher interest rates in exchange for more flexibility _ and they're not even directly feeling the impact of the credit crisis yet.

But don't expect massive sales or closures of newspapers any time soon, even though at least five newspaper companies overburdened with debt have been forced to confront their lenders over the past few weeks.

With revenue at newspapers shrinking and few investors willing or able to buy them, lenders are loathe to force companies to liquidate assets that are plunging in value. They have few alternatives but to help newspapers stay on track with their payments and hang on until ad prospects improve _ if they ever do.

"This is not a great time to, let's say, repossess the Minneapolis Star Tribune ... and then try to turn around and sell it," said Rick Edmonds, media business analyst with the journalism think tank Poynter Institute.

The Star Tribune said Sept. 30 it skipped a $9 million quarterly debt payment to conserve cash. The next day, the investor group that owns The Philadelphia Inquirer and the Philadelphia Daily News skipped an unspecified interest payment in an apparent bid to force lenders to renegotiate.

The McClatchy Co., one of the largest U.S. newspaper chains and owner of The Sacramento Bee and The Miami Herald among other prominent papers, agreed last month to pay higher interest rates and put up more collateral.

Analysts believe McClatchy came close to a technical default under its old loan terms, which required maintaining certain a cash flow as a percentage of its debt level. The new agreement with lenders changes the formula to account for sustained reductions in revenue.

A smaller chain, Morris Publishing Group LLC, said Wednesday it also agreed to pay high interest rates and meet other conditions in exchange for lenders relaxing financial targets for nearly a year.

Meanwhile, Freedom Communications Inc., which owns The Orange County Register in Southern California, said last Monday that it likely fell short of required financial thresholds as well and was in active talks with lenders.

The troubles all result from reduced cash flow caused by advertising revenue plummeting faster than anticipated this year at newspapers across the nation. Readers and ad dollars already were migrating to the Internet; the weakening economy further reduced ad sales.

Many loan agreements were reached back when papers and the economy were relatively healthy. Loan terms call for the two Philadelphia dailies to earn higher profit each year, for instance, something nearly impossible to achieve now.

Though papers ran into trouble well before the bank failures of recent weeks, the ongoing credit crisis is likely to make it harder for newspaper companies to refinance or change the terms of their loans, analysts say. And the crisis is bound to dampen consumer and advertising spending even further, putting even more news companies closer to default.

Tribune Co., for instance, reported $12.5 billion in debt and has a $593 million principal payment due next June. To raise money, the media conglomerate _ which owns the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, television stations and other papers _ is trying to sell the Chicago Cubs baseball team and other sports properties. But the credit crunch may hurt bidders' ability to come up with an asking price estimated at more than $1 billion.

Journal Register Co., with $628 million in debt, also has been in talks with lenders. A forbearance agreement it reached with lenders in July expires Oct. 31, after which lenders could prompt a default for missing payments.

"It's possible that some newspaper companies are leveraged beyond the value of their assets," said Mike Simonton, a Fitch Ratings bond analyst who specializes in the media industry. "Some banks may need to restructure their debt and give these entities more time to pay off their obligations."

That is, many newspaper companies may owe sums much greater than the value of their parts.

To a large extent, lenders are forced to make do, Simonton said, "given that the liquidation value of newspaper assets in this market is likely very low."

Newspaper companies' assets are primarily in buildings, equipment and delivery trucks, Simonton said, and lenders typically count on future cash flow in agreeing to let papers take on extensive debt.

The situation is allowed to continue because _ despite the downturn in ad revenue _ most papers remain profitable, just less profitable than they used to be. So lenders, for now, come out ahead in letting papers continue to operate.

"Are lenders going to have to relent in the current environment? To some degree, but not forever," said Chris Donnelly, a vice president at Standard and Poor's Leveraged Commentary and Data unit.

Ultimately, rather than break up or sell a company, investors might decide to forgive some debt in return a partial ownership, Donnelly said. That's true because the entire sector is down, meaning there are few buyers.

In the stock market, too, newspapers' prospects are grim.

McClatchy shares are down 94 percent from three years ago based on Friday's close. The nation's largest U.S. publisher, Gannett Co., is down 81 percent over that period.

Journal Register, which owns 22 daily newspapers, has been delisted from the New York Stock Exchange and the value of all its outstanding shares stood at $315,000 Friday.

Lenders aren't backing down completely. They typically exert more control over businesses when they renegotiate loan agreements.

The McClatchy agreement, for instance, ties shareholder dividends to the company's ability to meet financial thresholds. The greater its cash flow compared to its debt, the more dividends McClatchy can give out.

There's no evidence of any forced cutbacks yet, but in the case of the Philadelphia newspapers, the current owners seeking a new deal with lenders have proposed selling the papers' headquarters building and using proceeds to reduce debt. Tribune is also considering the sale of its iconic headquarters building in Chicago, Tribune Tower, as well as the headquarters of The Los Angeles Times.

Lenders "are taking a much more active role in a sense in managing the business without having to own it," said Ken Doctor, media analyst with Outsell Inc. "They're saying, "We'll give you some more time, more flexibility, but you have to do x, y and z."

AP-CS-10-10-08 2150EDT

The bailout sinks in Minnesota, according to STRIB poll

2008-09-25T21:53:00.002-06:00

STAR TRIBUNE POLL as of 5:30 P.M. THURSDAY
Instant poll: Do you support a bailout for Wall Street?

# of votes % of votes
Yes 1043 26.0 %
No 2963 73.9 %
Total Votes 4006

Editor's note: Instant polls are intended as entertainment. They are not considered to be true measurements of public opinion.

The Poll

Here's my thoughts:
This plan may be gaining more traction with Democrats than Republicans in the House, but on the street, it's unpopular with everyone. Minnesota voters are a relatively liberal bunch, at least in the urban core. The Minneapolis Star Tribune is considered a left-leaning newspaper. And online readers are, arguably, younger and more liberal than print readers. (That's highly debatable, but still...)

So when these relatively liberal readers are polled about the Wall Street bail-out plan -- and they shoot it down 3-1 -- that means the plan is in trouble. If Wall Street can't win hearts and minds in Minnesota, good luck in the heartland. They'll eat you alive.

Corrollary 1: To the degree that Bush is pushing this plan -- and McCain is associated with Bush -- this hurts McCain more than it hurts Obama. Liberals are expected to support bailouts and government intervention; conservatives are not. Whatever McCain's stance on the bailout, you'll see some conservative diehards staying home on election day because of disgust with and division within the party over this. McCain looks uncertain about this plan, which means he looks uncertain about economic issues in general, already a weak spot in his campaign. And it's a bad time for the decider-in-chief to look uncertain. At a time when economic issues are at the forefront of voters' minds, he does not look like he's at the forefront of economic issues. In fact, he looks like what he is -- a rich old white man with an even wealthier wife, oblivious and impervious to downturns in the economy. Not a good thing for his campaign.

Corrollary 2: Disgusted with the bailout plan and with Bush, conservative voters are going to stay home on election day. That's going to hurt GOP races across the country. Obama will win; Dems will control the House by wider margins than at any other time in recent history. Mark my words.

Held at pepper-spray-point during Republican National Convention, Rage Against the Machine aftermath

2008-09-04T00:46:00.007-06:00

Oh. Man.

I almost got arrested tonight while on assignment covering RNC-related protestors. I had to kneel in the middle of the street with my hands on my head and a pepper spray gun trained pretty much directly on me. I then had to beg my way out of a mass arrest that netted 30 others. I'm glad I didn't have to spend the night in jail, but it all worked out swimmingly given that I have such a beautiful and trustworthy smile... :)

Last night it was tear gas (which hurts like a mother f%^ker!) that got ignited a few feet behind me while I was covering a protest march. Tonight, the "on your knees! hands on head!" treatment. I hate to say it, but the kookiness of the RNC has actually been kinda fun....

Covering the protests and security skirmishes surrounding the Republican National Convention is a bit like being a kid in Disney Land trying to chase a paper airplane that keeps flying away.

You almost catch up to the airplane, but a giant spectacle or security roadblock of some sort gets in your way, and you end up detouring in and out and under novelties of all strange shapes and sizes to get back to where you wanted to go. Only by that time, the paper airplane has flown somewhere else.

Tonight the airplane I was assigned to chase was not in St. Paul but in Minneapolis. A bunch of us reporters were told to be ready for possible confrontation between police and the self-described anarchists coming into and / or out of the "Rage Against the Machine" concert at the Target Center in the bar / club district of downtown Minneapolis. I got there at 6:30 p.m. and waited and waited and waited; nothing happened until nearly midnight.

When the concert let out around 10:30 p.m., a fair number of drunk hooligans blocked First Avenue outside the performance center, trying to excite the crowd. Police had been waiting in droves for such an occurrence; they lined the sidewalk of First Avenue in large numbers and blocked off the avenue across 6th Street and 7th Street in even larger numbers, with helmeted cops on horses, bike cops, SWAT, and all kinds of vehicles. We're talking dozens, if not hundreds of officers armed with large wooden sticks, pepper spray and more.

After more than an hour, and several rebellious chants of "Fuck you I won't do what you tell me," the 6th Street crowd eventually dispersed with only one arrest. The 7th Street side was more heavily saturated with anarchists, as opposed to silly drunks, and they seemed to feel that if they could only push back the police and force them to let them march in the middle of the street, they would ignite the revolution that changes the world. Who am I to question such logic? So they marched. The police stood their ground for a while, then fell back, unwilling to unleash force.

About 200 or so marched for blocks and blocks, weaving between cars, but eventually stopping at 7th and 2nd Avenue, in front of the WCCO / Ameriprise Financial buildings in the financial district. That's where two bike cops kinda drew a line in the sand, stopping the front dozen or so in the crowd with their bikes. I thought, this crowd (which was down to about 75 at this point, all told, I bet) is going to overwhelm these guys.

Suddenly, an all-terrain vehicle with two cops on the back of it zoomed into the intersection, one guy had his beanbag or rubber bullet or pellet gun raised at us, and I heard two pops. I ran down half a block down 2nd Avenue like a #$%Q# bat outta hell. Scar-eee.

But being stupid -- and being paid to be stupid -- I just had to venture back. A group of 30 - to - 50 people were in the intersection now, including one of my coworkers. After a few minutes, a row of bike cops swooped in and circled the intersection. We were surrounded on all sides.

My co-worker and I ventured to one end of the intersection and politely asked if we could be excused from the circle. The cop said, "No, go the other way." So we did. At the other end of the intersection, we made the same request. That cop also said, "No, go the other way." We suddenly realized we weren't going to be let out.

And the bike cops were only perimeter people. They were the fence. Next came the enforcers.

The bike cops were quickly joined by armed, helmeted, Storm Trooper-like SWAT types all in black, with weapons out. A cop with a pepper spray gun was screaming at me to get down on my knees and put my hands on my head.

So I did.

I couldn't stop smiling a nervous smile. They announced that "everyone in this intersection is being put under arrest." I thought, oh man, my first night in jail!!

But then I noticed that a bunch of cameramen were walking out of the circle. "Hey, I'm media too! They're letting those guys go!" I yelled over to one of the officers. They directed me out of the circle, and I mentioned that my co-worker was media too and on his knees not far behind me. I was free! He was too! Yippeee!

That was about it.

Most everyone else got arrested, though the police chief met with the now large crowd of gathering reporters and said they'd only be charged with misdemeanors. A handful of juveniles and concert-goers who had been looking for their parking ramps were also let go.

the end bye bye see ya later!

P.S. Looks like the Pioneer Press was also there:

FROM:

30 arrested

All Headlines

Thirty people arrested in Minneapolis following Rage Against the Machine concert
Pioneer Press

Article Last Updated: 09/04/2008 01:09:17 AM CDT

Roughly 30 people were arrested in downtown Minneapolis Wednesday evening as they marched through the streets after a much-anticipated Rage Against the Machine concert.

It began when a group of about 200 people began slowly marching from the Target Center on First Avenue, where the concert ended about 10:30 p.m., chanting slogans about democracy and "taking the streets."

The Target Center had been surrounded by dozens of police in full riot gear, anticipating trouble following clashes with protesters in St. Paul on prior days during the Republican National Convention.

As the group walked southeast down Seventh Street, police began tapping the ankles of stragglers, telling them to get off the street and onto the sidewalk. At one point, a group of officers in a six-wheeled all-terrain vehicle fired two rounds from what appeared to be either a beanbag or pellet gun.

Several people who were at the concert said they also saw police use pepper spray on individuals walking from the concert.

By the time the marchers reached the corner Seventh Street and 2nd Avenue South, they were down to about 75 people. The group stopped and started cheering, before a few called out "let's keep on taking the streets."

Some of the crowd dispersed as more police arrived on bikes and horses. Just after midnight, police circled the group, ordered them to the ground and cuffed them.

"We are free citizens of America, and we are here because we love our country," said a girl

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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who was leading the crowd, who refused to give her name.
"We were at the Rage concert, and they are taking it of context. We were just marching," said Dan Rarick, of Hutchinson, immediately before the arrests. Rarick said he was a U.S. Marine veteran who served in Iraq.

"They're taking it a little to the extreme," added his friend, Joe Tschumperlin, of Shakopee, also a Marine veteran. Seconds later, the arrests began.

Minneapolis police chief Tim Dolan, who was on the streets monitoring the situation, said "I'm surprised it wasn't a little worse based on the last few days in St. Paul."

He estimated about 30 people were arrested for blocking traffic, and expected them to be charged with misdemeanors.

Fred Melo, John Brewer, Mara H. Gottfried and Tad Vezner contributed to this story.

Strib has tentative labor deal, Pioneer Press to combine sections

2008-07-26T12:17:00.006-06:00

The Star Tribune's newspaper guild has apparently accepted a three-year labor deal that preserves most jobs for a few years yet, without pay raises. It's still tentative, though.

Sounds pretty good at first blush, but MinnPost's David Brauer reports there's no layoff protection in the contract. Not so good at second blush.

And across the river...

The Pioneer Press says the rising cost of newsprint is forcing it to combine the A section (national, World news, A-1 stories) with the B section (Local news) on Mondays and Tuesdays.

In other words, that thin paper you've been seeing toward the beginning of the week? It might get a tad bit thinner, by about four to six pages a week. The number of stories, however, is not projected to shrink much (though their length might).

More here:
Minn Post's David Brauer on the PiPress combining sections

This is also probably good news. It was getting pretty depressing opening the local section and seeing a string of obituaries staring back at you from B-3.

They've also announced they're putting more energy into niche publications, like mini-magazine-style glossies with a few articles about sports, homebuying or entertainment and lots and lots and lots of advertisements.

This last part is a good thing. Advertisers like a targeted audience, and audiences like a targeted product!

How Pioneer Press owner "Lean" Dean Singleton got rich in newspapers and then took on potentially crippling debt

2008-06-21T11:06:00.010-06:00

Here's some analysis from the Poynter Institute's business desk that anyone with a remote interest in the welfare of the Pioneer Press and other MediaNews holdings will want to read:

Poynter Biz blog on newspaper debt

Poynter Media Business Analyst Rick Edmonds tracks the latest industry developments.

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WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18, 2008Posted at 9:54:37 AM

It's the Debt, Stupid

When Sam Zell and his lieutenants or Dean Singleton opine on the state of the newspaper industry and the drastic remedies required, as they have in recent weeks, it puts me in a mood to scream.

Yes, times are tough. But the latest draconian cuts they are imposing on employees and readers are going largely to service the ridiculous levels of debt they had the bad judgment to take on.

Let's look at the numbers. Zell's Tribune began life last December with more than $12 billion in debt. Goldman Sachs analyst Peter Appert wrote then that the company would face around $1 billion in debt payments this year, which cash flow from its operations would barely cover.

Things aren't working out even that well, with revenue declines much worse than expected. For the first quarter of 2008, Tribune reported cash flow of about $200 million from operations. Interest payments totaled $263 million. Forget profits, obscene or otherwise, the company operated at a loss.

Turning to Singleton's MediaNews, it reported interest payments of about $80 million in 2007, sucking up about 6 percent of the revenue its newspapers generated.

MediaNews stopped reporting its financials in April, but it is reasonable to assume debt service remains about the same in 2008 at the same time revenues, and earnings, keep falling (as they are throughout the industry).

By contrast, an extremely conservative borrower, the Washington Post Co., had interest payments of only $12 million in 2007. Its diverse businesses generated revenue of over $4 billion, more than triple those of MediaNews.

So when Tribune announces it will "right-size" by getting the split of advertising and news space to 50-50 in its papers, I wonder whether this abnormal level of shoehorning news is largely a ploy to finance debt.

When Singleton boasts to an international conference in Sweden of his progressive step of depriving various of his California papers of local-based publishers and copy desks, I think I know why no other major American publishing group has gone that far. Feeling prosecutorial about these exercises in making a difficult situation worse, I do need to add a few qualifiers.

The Tribune deal came with a huge tax benefit and an understanding that some assets would need to be sold. MediaNews operates on a model distinctly its own, including joint operating agreements for three of its biggest papers and a number of management contracts, particularly with well-heeled Hearst.

Being highly leveraged has always been part of the game plan, and Singleton has been shrewd lately about getting paid without committing his own capital. You could also argue that the industry has consistently underestimated how much revenue and earnings will fall.

If that is still the case, Tribune and MediaNews could be avatars of deeper cuts other companies may resort to in another six months to a year. Also we are past the point where cutting the newspaper expense base can reasonably be blamed on greedy, bad-guy managers.

If an industry loses 20 percent of revenues over two years, more in problem spots like Florida and California, you don't need an M.B.A. to figure out the necessity of bringing down costs. Still, I think operators like Zell and Singleton are squishy where others are forthright on the concurrent need to keep heft and quality in the print product and invest aggressively in new digital operations.

Frankly, I don't think they have the money to do it -- because the banker has to be paid first.

In December 2006, Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster spoke to an investors' conference in New York. Asked the inevitable question about whether he felt guilty about helping destroy the industry's classified base, he replied that he and Craig Newmark thought the bigger problem was excessive debt. (Craigslist, essentially, has none).

Both are problems, but I do think debt has become a very important gradient now when looking at companies. Zell, Singleton, McClatchy and private groups in Minneapolis and Philadelphia all labor under the burden of having bought papers assuming earnings as they were instead of earnings as they have become.

McClatchy announced deep cuts of its own this week and carries big debt from laying out $4 billion (after the sale of some papers) for Knight Ridder just as the business turned from stalled to plunging in mid-2005. But McClatchy also sold its largest paper, the Star Tribune of Minneapolis, ahead of the curve of sinking valuations and has actually been paying down debt as well as covering interest payments.

Conversely, some companies have had the good sense or good fortune not to buy any newspapers this decade. That hasn't earned them favor on Wall Street, but it does leave a lot more maneuvering room for transformation in the next several years.

That group would include, among others, A.H. Belo, E.W. Scripps, the Washington Post and New York Times companies, and Cox. I don't think it coincidental that you see some of the boldest digital experiments and strongest online growth rates at the newspapers of these companies.

-- END --

McClatchy newspapers slash hundreds of jobs today

2008-06-17T00:03:00.007-06:00

Someday, the cuts to the newspaper industry will equalize with job gains elsewhere in the media world (I hope), and this brave new thing that will rise up to replace the printed word will materialize, offering us all quality journalism without the ink stains on our hands and feet. (Well, your hands... my feet...)

Someday.

But not today.

McClatchy, the former owner of the Minneapolis Star Tribune, slashed 1,400 jobs across the country Monday morning, including 250 at the Miami Herald alone.

News article on this crap here

That's a 10 percent reduction.

Imagine losing 10 percent of your body weight all at once ... or 10 percent of your extended family ... or 10 percent of your co-workers.

McClatchy had previously cut 2,000 jobs over the course of 18 months, so this latest bolt of pain is just a sudden amputation on top of the loss of the larger limb that had been hacked off a little more gradually.

Cry, cry for the newsfolk....

They need it!

FYI: McClatchy-owned newspapers include The Miami Herald, The Sacramento Bee, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, The Kansas City Star, the Charlotte Observer.

McClatchy.com

Strange Days and Carrie Bradshaw

2008-06-12T13:26:00.002-06:00

I have seen everything and it is strange.

Two women and a gay man just shared a sugar cookie three-ways in my office.

One of the women is now walking around the office, trying to unload the remaining THIRD of the cookie on whoever wants it..

It is a Carrie Bradshaw cookie. As in, the star of Sex and the City, sitting with legs crossed on a bench, looking glamorous, sugar-coated onto a cookie.

Dry Drowning, the bizarrest way to die?

2008-06-09T00:27:00.006-06:00

It works like this: You step out of the pool with water in your lungs. You don't feel perfect, nor do you feel terrible. You go home tired. Then, about 24 hours later (or less), you die. As in, you're dead.

Don't believe me? Dry Drowning supposedly kills about 300 or so people a year in the U.S.A.

You could be next, bucko!!!

I don't mean to make light. This case is truly sad:

‘Dry drowning’ claims 10-year-old’s life - Health - MSNBC.comThe tragic death of a South Carolina 10-year-old more than an hour after he had gone swimming has focused a spotlight on the little-known phenomenon called ...
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24982210/>1=43001 - 43k - Cached - Similar pages

So after reading the above article, I looked up the official Wikipedia definition of Dry Drowning here, and I nary understood nary a nary word, narily:

Dry drowning - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaIn cases of dry drowning in which the victim was immersed, very little fluid is aspirated into the lungs. The laryngospasm reflex essentially causes ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_drowning - 24k - Cached - Similar pages

More on reporter-blogger-intellectual

2008-05-23T16:33:00.004-06:00

Pioneer Press reporter Alex Friedrich's heralded State Fair blog, pushing the envelope of toilet humor and gastrointestinal distress, here:

minnesotastatefair.blogspot.com

London School of Economics steals Pioneer Press reporter

2008-05-23T16:13:00.004-06:00

My sources at the PiPress have forwarded me a goodbye speech for a good guy and one heck of a good reporter. It's worth reading.

--------
Union organizer and reporter par excellence, Alex Friedrich, is leaving the Pioneer Press today (Friday) to pursue a master's degree in European History at the London School of Economics.

Friedrich was a unit chair with the Minnesota Newspaper Guild, of the Communications Workers of America Local 37002.

More on him here:
http://www.shoptalknet.org/index.php?get=Alex+Friedrich

His co-worker, Fred Melo, sent this email around to everyone in the newsroom, after the 4 p.m. goodbye speeches and cake.

-----

Here's the goodbye-to-Alex speech I would have given 20 minutes ago, had that Q@#$%$^ not cut me off in traffic and had the police chief spoken a little bit faster. Not my fault, I double-pinky swear. (Well....):

Alex was my first male friend at the Pioneer Press and... (Hmmm... Let me try that again with another lede here... )

Alex's reporting life has taken him from Germany and Prague to the rain-soaked streets of a post-Hurricane Katrina Mississippi, not to forget the hazardous byways of Internet blogging (without pooping. If you don't know what I'm taking about, do a search for Friedrich and State Fair).

But this was not my primary way of knowing Alex or accessing the open library inside his head. Truth be told, I rarely read his beat stuff. Washington County? Might as well be Guam to me.

Few people realize how hard Alex worked for all of us -- as a newsroom, as a paper, and as a brave but embattled industry -- once his computer shut off and he "went home" for the day.

On a near-nightly basis, his was the face and voice of reporters, editors and photographers, writing and researching and organizing the stuff that most of us don't have the stomach for. Mondays at noon, week in and week out, he was there come heck or come highwater, meeting with co-workers across departments, planner in hand.

Whatever our remaining challenges as a paper and as an industry, the short-term results have been better than many expected. I truly believe Alex Friedrich and the loyalty he inspired is a signifcant reason why the Pioneer Press is growing circulation, while the competition isn't.

His was leadership with a smile, and he always maintained a forward-thinking, solution-oriented way of figuring how to improve life here for all of us, and not just for a particular segment of the newsroom.

Leave it to a beautiful woman to steal his heart and kidnap him off to the London School of Economics. Not too shabby, young man. Sounds like a permanent contract to me.

Now go forth and multiply....

Frederick Melo

Reporter, St. Paul Pioneer Press

345 Cedar St., St. Paul, MN 55101

Office: 651.228.2172 | Mobile: 651.398.5534

Fax: 651.228.5500

fmelo@pioneerpress.com | www.twincities.com

Michael Bhatia, Brown scholar, killed in Afghanistan

2008-05-09T11:23:00.011-06:00

A good man died in Afghanistan on Wednesday. He was an Oxford scholar and an intellectual and I'd like to think of him as a friend, though we hadn't stayed in touch like we should have over the years.

His name was Michael Bhatia, and to call him smart is like calling the Pope a Catholic. Bhatia, of Medway, Massachusetts, did his first mission in sub-Saharan Africa with a United Nations crisis team while he was a sophomore in college. He studied toward his Phd at Oxford and taught at his alma mater, Brown University in Rhode Island, in recent months.

He was 30 or 31 years old.

His subject of choice was war. But his was no mere theoretical or intellectual exercise. He was one of those rare academics that believed in putting the books down at the end of the semester and talking to people -- real, everyday people -- in their homes, in their villages, and seeing the world through their eyes. He was an idealist. He wanted peace.

He traveled to East Timor, Afghanistan, and any number of crisis locations hoping to learn and to help people. The U.S. military hired him as a cultural adviser of sorts in Afghanistan. Scattered blog and media reports indicate his convoy hit some form of explosive. I'm not sure if it was a cast-away boobie trap in the style of a landmine or more of an organized attack.

To say he is mourned and loved is an understatement. We miss you Mike. We'll see you again someday.

More on Michael Bhatia here:

Brown University's Watson Insitute memorial tribute:
http://watsoninstitute.org/news_detail.cfm?id=851

Brown University's alumni magazine posting:
http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/recent_news/michael_bhatia_99_killed_in_afghanistan_1980.html

Reuters describes the attack that likely killed Mike:
http://africa.reuters.com/world/news/usnISL72960.html

Mike's bio on the Globalist:
http://www.theglobalist.com/AuthorBiography.aspx?AuthorId=988

Mike's three-part personal photo series on life in Afghanistan:
http://www.theglobalist.com/StoryId.aspx?StoryId=6416

Zohra, a blog friend from Afghanistan, remembers Mike:
http://kabulkabul.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-memory-of-michael-bhatia.html

A Brown friend and drinking buddy remembers Mike:
http://sethresler.wordpress.com/2008/05/09/michael-bhatia/

FROM THE WATSON INSTITUTE AT BROWN UNIVERSITY:

In Memory of Michael Vinay Bhatia '99

Michael Bhatia

May 08, 2008

Michael Vinay Bhatia ’99 died yesterday in Afghanistan, where he was working as a social scientist in consultation with the US Defense Department.

In addition to graduating magna cum laude in international relations from Brown University, Michael was a visiting fellow at the Watson Institute from July 2006 to June 2007. At the Institute, he was involved in a research project on Cultural Awareness in the Military, writing his PhD dissertation, and teaching a senior seminar on "The US Military: Global Supremacy, Democracy and Citizenship."

Over several years, Michael’s research and humanitarian work took him to such conflict zones as Sahrawi refugee camps, East Timor, and Kosovo, in addition to Afghanistan.

Of his work in Afghanistan, Michael wrote in November: “The program has a real chance of reducing both the Afghan and American lives lost, as well as ensuring that the US/NATO/ISAF strategy becomes better attuned to the population's concerns, views, criticisms and interests and better supports the Government of Afghanistan.”

Michael had recently published some of his research on Afghanistan.

His co-authored book on Afghanistan, Arms and Conflict: Armed Groups, Disarmament and Security in a Post-War Society was just released by Routledge in April. It assesses small arms and security-related issues in post-9/11 Afghanistan.

His edited book on Terrorism and the Politics of Naming was published by Routledge last September. Stating that names are not objective, the book seeks the truth behind those assigned in such cases as the US hunt for al-Qaeda, Russia’s demonization of the Chechens, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

In August, his personal three-part photo essay, “Shooting Afghanistan: Beyond the Conflict,” was published by theGlobalist. In it, he wrote:

“Afghanistan will soon reach a desperate milestone – the thirtieth anniversary of ongoing conflict. … Though I have spent the majority of my time there researching the wars and those involved in it, conflict is not my primary memory and way of knowing it. I am compelled to write about experiences and ideas that cannot be placed into analytical paradigms, which do not speak to theories of war or peace, to destruction or to reconstruction, but instead to daily interactions that occurred in the course of research.”

His love of photography is revealing. In theGlobalist piece, he also wrote:

“Building on Robert Capa’s statement that 'If your pictures aren't good enough, you're not close enough,' James Nachtwey, the preeminent photo-realist and conflict photographer, once indicated that the primary characteristic of a good war photographer was proximity, closeness and involvement.”

Michael was a doctoral candidate in the Department of Politics and International Relations at the University of Oxford. He was awarded a George C. Marshall Scholarship in 2001 and a Scoville Peace Fellowship in 2000, supporting residence at the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessments in Washington, DC.

He was working on his dissertation, titled “The Mujahideen: A Study of Combatant Motives in Afghanistan, 1978-2005,” based on 350 interviews with combatants throughout Afghanistan, as well as archival and media research. He has also conducted research in Afghanistan for the Overseas Development Institute, the Small Arms Survey, the Afghanistan Research and Evaluation Unit, the UK Department for International Development (via the International Policy Institute, King’s College, London), and the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe.

Before his fellowship at the Institute, he was a sessional lecturer on the causes of war in the Department of Political Science at Carleton University in Ottawa.

He is the author of War and Intervention: Issues for Contemporary Peace Operations (Kumarian Press, 2003); and of articles in the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, Global Governance, Review of African Political Economy, The International Journal of Refugee Law, International Peacekeeping, and Middle East Policy. He was the guest editor of The Third World Quarterly Special Issue: “The Politics of Naming: Rebels, Terrorists, Criminals, Bandits and Subversives,” which was then released as a book by Routledge. He received his MSc in international relations research from the Department of Politics and International Relations, University of Oxford.

“It's a terrible loss of someone so young, who had already accomplished a great deal, but had so much more to contribute,” said Institute Professor Thomas J. Biersteker, who advised Michael in his studies over the years.

Details about services will be made available.

Read Michael's personal photo essays here:
Globalist essay

Michael's information from Oxford University's St. Antony's College is here.
Read a UN statement given by Michael as an undergraduate here.

Could the Pioneer Press buy the Star Tribune?

2008-05-06T23:17:00.006-06:00

Dean Singleton, the owner of the Media News Group (the Denver-based company that bought the Pioneer Press after Knight Ridder dissolved) has made a career of buying papers in crisis, gutting their staffs, and then cracking the whip. It's publish or perish.

It's a strategy that has supposedly made Singleton a multi-millionaire. Or is that billionaire?

For years, the talk was that the Star Tribune would oneday absorb the Pioneer Press, a stalwart underdog in one of the last great media rivalries in the United States of America.

But if the Avista Corp., which bought the Star Tribune not long ago and has no great love of media holdings, is doing as poorly financially as it claims to be, perhaps things could go the other way around?

City Pages ponders the possibility and dishes on the Star Tribune's meager finances here, as the New York Post did before it:

City Pages article on the Star Tribune

Singleton could, in theory, ride in and buy the Star Tribune, and either merge the two papers or create a joint operating agreement of sorts. Shared content. Shared printing presses. But separate identities, each capitalizing on the loyal fan base for each paper in each city.

A group of eight rival newspapers in Ohio just did something along a similar vein here, sharing content between them as an answer to the Associated Press rate hike:

More on the operating agreement-style parternship here:
Ohio papers share content

Hillary, please go away.

2008-05-06T23:01:00.004-06:00

Message to Hillary Clinton:

Please. go. away.

You're not helping. You will never defeat John McCain in the general election. Maybe Obama can. Maybe he can't. But at least he's got a shot. You don't. Now go clutch success from the jaws of defeat by rallying women voters and Latinos for Obama. That would get McCain on the ropes. That it would. Yes it would.

The minority vote was a hugely decisive factor in Bill Clinton's two victories. And Gore and Kerry's inability to excite and attract minorities in their close races against Bush are why they failed. Hands down.

You wanna win, go for the 'brown' vote.

More on why minority voters may stay home if Hillary wins, thereby giving McCain the advantage, here:
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/5751006.html

Save the world!!! ... by starving the poor?

2008-04-26T01:22:00.002-06:00

Every policy decision that fixes a problem creates a new one. Ain't that a fact.

At my last meeting of my Spanish-language discussion group, the subject was literature and the environment.

A Costa Rican economic development dude who works with Latin businesses up and down Lake Street, brought up ethanol and biofuels, and how they've been a double-edged sword for developing countries, and probably for the U.S., too. It was once foreseen that increased demand for corn-based fuel products would give poor countries something they could market to the world.

Corn is relatively common and inexpensive to grow, after all.

That plan has worked -- in a strange way, almost too well. The growing price of corn is hitting the poor where it hurts most by raising food costs everywhere.

For more on that, here's an article from the Star Tribune:

"Rush to biofuels leaves a world of emptier plates
In 2007, two University of Minnesota economists forecast that biofuels would sharply increase food prices by 2020, leading to many more empty bellies in the world. How wrong they were. It took only a year. Updated 20 minutes ago"

Here's what I have to say, and the world had better by god damn listening:

Ouch!

Hillary stands a better chance nationally against McCain????

2008-02-09T17:24:00.000-06:00

DREAM ON!

Obama won purple state Iowa. Obama TROUNCED Hillary in purple state Minnesota.

Now Hillary thinks she'll play better to the purple-staters? Where is the proof of this utter nonsense?

Without a handful of purple states, the Dems will lose. And Hillary ain't winnin' em over.

Everything I have predicted....

2008-02-09T00:09:00.001-06:00

....is coming true. All hail my powers of political divination. Romney did not stand a chance.

Onward to the future: In a match-up between McCain and Hillary, the moderate McCain beats the H.C.-polarizer to a political pulp.

But in a match-up between McCain and Obama, it's a tad more even-steven. Here's where Barack loses ground, however: Obama never seems to speak in specific details, just rhetoric. He's an incredible orator, but once he's challenged on how he'll make his populist rhetoric a practical reality, he'll lose a little steam.

And anti-black wingnuts will appear out of the woodwork to vote against him. The racists and "Hey, I'm not racist, I'm friends with a guy who golfed with Clarence Thomas" types will surely grit their teeth and vote McCain, no matter what people say. A war hero? It's not tough for the typical nationalistic flag-waver to swing that way, and justify that vote to himself.

So I give McCain the edge for the moment. But if Obama can drag Latinos, blacks and college students to the polls, and the Greatest Generation is feeling too old or disillusioned and stays home in their assisted living facilities, he could make it. Make it, he could.

Handy Washington Post caucus map, and my little predictions

2008-01-27T16:39:00.002-06:00

This political mapping site on WashingtonPost.com makes all this caucus-schmockus stuff so much easier to follow:

Washington Post interative caucus map

So it looks like a candidate needs about 2,000 votes to win. We're still in the double-digits on the GOP side and just breaking the triple-digits on the Democratic side, so the numbers showing Huckabee ahead of McCain I think are misleading at this point. But what do I know?

I predict:

FOR THE DEMS:
Obama the orator will beat the pants off of Hillary "stiff, tired and no fun at a party" Clinton. She seems to have picked up nothing from her husband but a funny-looking child.

FOR THE GOP:
McCain the war hero will beat the pants off of Mitt "I was born rich and look the part, which is a liability in a recession" Romney. Huckabee will garner a few hundred delegates on Super Tuesday and win some headlines, but won't really register after too long. We do not mix God and politics in this country as much as people think.

END RESULT:
In a general election race between Obama and McCain, the "war on terrorism" gun-nuts will square off against the "let's pull out and leave the middle east in even more chaos" defeatists, each calling the other wimps or Nazis. Whoever yells the loudest wins.

THE SAD PART:
Bill Richardson was the only viable candidate with international experience (former ambassador to the U.N., and hostage negotiator!), executive-level experience (Governor of New Mexico), immigration experience (Governor of New Mexico), and federal experience in a field that really affects our daily lives (former Energy Secretary). And he's out of the race.

The rest are all sad-sacks and I just don't care anymore...

THOUGHTS?

Aqua vs. Aura

2008-01-26T15:53:00.000-06:00

I was just invited to party tonight at Aqua, the trendy, dress-to-get-sexed downtown Minneapolis club.

I momentarily confused it with Aura, the intimate martini bar in Calhoun Square, Uptown Minneapolis, which is very Brooklyn-esque: http://www.mndaily.com/drinkanddine/details/88/Aura

Either way, I'm a bit of a fish out of water at either venue. But it's time to test my comfort zones and booty-bump with the beautiful people. Right after I do two months worth of laundry.

What the Star Tribune is doing to its Jimmy Olsens

2008-01-26T15:26:00.000-06:00

It looks like all the young talent at the Star Tribune has been put on probation -- indefinitely! For a union-paper about to enter contract negotiations, that's a clear sign that Avista Co., the Star-Tribune's parent company, is going to use the youngsters as a bargaining chip in a blood-bath of a contract dispute that will surely see an end to the STRIB as we know it. These are tough times. Sigh. Sigh.

MinnPost / MPR media media critic David Brauer has been following the re-re-restructuring of the Star Tribune, which has been so dizzying over the past few years that he deserves a cigarette and a band-aid for paying so close attention. I mean, it's like watching rough sex, man.

Just click the headline above to find out about the push toward weekly suburban coverage, and then the push away from it in favor of folding coverage of the 'burbs into the zoned daily editions, and now back toward the weekly model. Jeez criminy!

At least the Strib is honest about the fact that this is advertiser-driven. Advertisers apparently prefer being associated with a once-a-week insert that was dotted with news than with a daily package that was sparse on it.

Here's a little footnote to this advertiser-sponsored indecisiveness: The 7 or 8 20-something cub reporters who wrote for weeklies like "Strib South" and "Strib North" were folded into the newspaper (and the Minnesota Newspaper Guild / Communications Workers of America labor union) as the Strib went to daily zoning. Now, despite their AFL-CIO cards, they could all lose their jobs!

Here's why: These hard-working Jimmy Olsens were all treated as new employees and put on 3-month probation when the Strib began zoning their daily editions a couple of months ago, even though some had been with the paper for more than a year.

Well, those "three-month" probations are "over" but they just got extended ... to 9 months!

This is a bare-faced bargaining tool for parent corp. Avista Co. You're jerking your 20-something reporters around, and expecting loyalty to the paper and to the profession as the newbies mature into the profession? Ouch. Is Minnesota Public Radio hiring??

Sick of flag-waving as a defense for not asking basic questions

2008-01-26T15:00:00.000-06:00

Apologies to my untold fans for being incommunicado these many months. Life changes took precedence....

There's an Oscar-nominated documentary out that takes a look at the death of a 22-year-old Afghan taxi driver who was beaten to death by U.S. troops after five days in a military prison camp. The military later released his passengers from Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, finding no evidence the prisoners took part in any wrongdoing.

The soldiers were later tried and convicted of assault, but they appear on camera saying they were scapegoated by superiors who basically told them to get information out of the poor guy anyway they could. The superior officers looked the other way when these interrogators used increasingly brutal force.

The film is called "Taxi to the Dark Side." A CNN video is available through the headline link above.

Look, I'm as patriotic as the next guy, I truly believe America is a great country and allows us many freedoms other countries don't, and that our constitution is the best-written constitution around, and the most noble, notable and enduring. (Not that 200 years is all that long a time in the scheme of things, but still...)

But if you're still taking an "ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies" approach to our habit of detaining Iraqis and Afghanis and holding them for years without charges, then... um... you suck.

So far, 250 Americans have been tried for heinous interrogation methods, according to the CNN clip. Those are just the ones that have been caught.

Yes, we were attacked on Sept. 11. And we have a right to find those perpetrators and bring them to justice. But let's get real. A 22-year-old taxi cab driver? What did he ever do to anyone? We're squandering U.S. lives and the lives of the people we're supposedly out there to protect.

Be patriotic by holding the right people accountable up and down the line, not just the adrenaline-blinded army grunts who were pressured into these heinous crimes.

The D word is everywhere --- and I'm not even married.

2007-04-05T07:03:00.001-06:00

Suffering through the death throes of an ill-fated, on-again, off-again relationship, I once made the mistake in college of turning to my friend Sam for advice. "You could always ask her to marry you," said Sam, a brilliant pre-medical student who had recently become engaged to his girlfriend of three months.

"It's a way of realling hooking someone in there," he continued, with a little clutching gesture, like someone who has just scored in tennis. "And if things don't work out, that's what divorce is for."

For various reasons, Sam and I did not stay friends much longer. Marriage proposals used as carrot / stick bargaining tools -- or hostage tools, more like it -- falls somewhere between incredibly tacky and mildly criminal in my eyes. That said, such crap is probably fairly common.

But what's just as, if not more, concerning to me is the D word. The Star Tribune is doing a depressing yet informative series on divorce and its many zany permutations. For instance, there's the divorce where the couple remain best of friends and still vacation together with the kids, otherwise known as the "And why did we bother getting divorced?" divorce.

Then there's this trend of wife-initiated divorces. Now 66 percent of all divorces involving women over age 40 are apparently her idea, with boredom being a top reason giving up on couplehood. Hope you're better entertained flying solo...(supposedly, many women say they are!)

None of this sounds like much fun, from my self-serving male perspective. Sure, it's nice to know that if I ever get married, and things turn out as rocky as my last five relationships (I average a new one every two years, since college), there's an "eject button."

Scratch that last thought. It isn't nice knowing that, not at all. It's scary. Because odds are, with two people both stationed by the escape hatch, when traffic gets bumpy, someone will use it.

So what's the big deal? If everyone is getting divorced (except my parents, almost 40 years and still going strong!) and there's no longer a taboo associated with a failed union, why fear the marriage reaper?

Perhaps that's precisely what scares me most. It isn't taboo any longer to simply give up and walk away. And that speaks loads about how self-interested we've become as a society, our uniquely American brand of individualism par excellence.

What's ironic here is that as our willingness to put up with our mate's body odor or stale sweat socks diminishes, our childcentric rhetoric only increases. Everything is "for the children."

An exasperated mom wrote an excellent piece for Time Magazine about how sick to death she is of her fellow suburban soccer moms and their germ-phobic helicoptering. (Tonight at 9: How safe is your playground? Could your child slip off the slide???)

It doesn't take a Sept. 11 to get us to look out for each other, to remember the other person is in the room. It takes a Sept. 11 to get us to like ourselves.

Six Haikus About Failing and Being Dumped

2007-02-26T00:37:00.000-06:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
She and I used to write poems in bed < Bidgmancantleave > 02/02 16:46:14

side by side, or on
the phone, into the sweet void
thinking she heard me

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wishing I were a better man, oh my lord, my lord < ThisiswhatIhave > 02/25 22:31:09

Then rising prayers
Would not leak condemnation
Down, down upon me

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The little I've offered < Thisiswhathave > 02/25 22:26:26

Opening my hand
Hoping world does not reject
Little I've offered

-------------------------------
One last poem before I leave work < BidgmaninMinneapolis > 02/02 16:43:12

Messy desk, always
Dark night in January
She dumped me last month
---------------------------------------
Dumped on my birthday < bidgman > 02/02 16:30:01

Her timing sucked ass
Inevitable anger
Hating loving her
--------------------------------------------
Dumped on my birthday II < Bidgmanagain > 02/02 16:39:25

When its over I
say its not over I say
take me back please please

Which X-men are you? I'm a powerful nerdy tramp...

2007-01-01T05:51:00.000-06:00

What the freak! I took this online survey to determine what kind of X-men I would be, and it tells me I'm someone's geeky yet sexy kid sister.

Phooey!

You Are Shadowcat

You're like a little sister to some, but others see you as a sex kitten.

You are well trained in martial arts, a bit of a computer geek, and can totally kick butt.

Powers: the ability to "phase" through walls and other physical objects

Which of the X-Men Are You?

New Star Tribune owner's resume: off-shore oil drilling and direct mail

2006-12-28T22:58:00.000-06:00

Strib columnist Nick Coleman today has the best analysis I've seen so far of the Star Tribune sale to the Avista Corp., whose major holdings include nothing in newspapers, but plenty in the area of direct mail and off-shore oil drilling:

http://www.startribune.com/357/story/903516.html

I used to work for an Avista-like company that also had no knowledge of the newspaper field, and no interest in learning. It was called Fidelity. And it owned a chain of about 100 weekly newspapers, where I was a lowly cub reporter.

As reporters and editors began to quit, Fidelity decided not to hire any staff to take their place. Instead, under-staffed papers would borrow more and more articles from the neighboring towns. The result was laughable at best, but to longtime readers it was straight out offensive.

Just imagine opening up the "Bloomington Weekly News" and finding only coverage of St. Paul and Edina!

It got to the point where the weekly papers were cobbled together by one reporter and one editor. And then just an editor. And then by no regular staff at all, with the task of laying out articles performed by whomever in the shared newsroom happened to have a hand free.

Of course, from Fidelity's perspective, the staff was completely expendable. After all, it's advertisements that pay the bills. So why not get rid of content entirely and just fill the paper with ads? After all, everyone loves waking up in the morning to a cup of coffee and the weekly supermarket shopper. Am I right?

Of course not.

Suffice it to say, Fidelity eventually got out of the newspaper business. Let's hope Avista is a quicker study.

Supposedly, this is a nice l'il Internet...

2006-12-26T21:00:00.000-06:00

I like this site for its local political analysis: http://minnpolitics.blogspot.com

I like this site for its in-depth listing of all the Green Lanterns who have ever patrolled the myriad sectors of the universe, on behalf of the blue Guardians of Oa:
www.glcorps.org

And I like this site because supposedly, it gets me on the Web:
Affordable T1 Service price quotes and Discount T1 lines from cheap T1 providers. Instant Quotes!

The end is nigh

2006-12-20T21:09:00.000-06:00

They put Hillary AND Barack Obama on the cover of Newsweek?

The media really is trying to cancel these two out, aren't they? And the Dems will sit back and let them do it, as usual.

And the conservatives will cackle all the way to the White House.

Get ready for John McCain in 2008.

The Closed Circle

2006-12-14T13:44:00.000-06:00

I've heard tell it's called a Closed Circle -- a handful of people surround themselves with only themselves, preaching their brand of the gospel to the converted, until they believe their philosophies are so perfect that no reasonable person could ever think differently.

Without objective input allowed to seep in from the outside world to challenge their core beliefs, at a critical moment, the circle acts on their beliefs, terribly and momentously. And the results ain't pretty.

We see closed circles among psychopaths, the radical right and the radical left, cultists, the Karl Rove White House, and Hollywood stars. (Why else would M. Night Shylaman cast himself as a prophetic author destined to change the world in the otherwise underrated "Lady in the Water"?)

But these days, unfortunately, we mostly see closed circles among mainstream Democrats, who refuse to believe that Populism counts: http://www.flaregun.org/?p=102

John Kerry and Hilary Clinton have formed a closed circle of sorts, both thinking that they are well-regarded throughout the country, have something wonderful and popular to contribute to national discourse, and their time in the Oval Office is nigh.

Not so deep down, I like these people. (I even had a picture of Hilary Clinton on my wall in high school.) I would probably vote for them. Their politics more or less mirror my own.

But wrapped in their northeast thinking and northeast network, they are oblivious to how despised they are on the streets of Middle America. Among bankers and mailmen and hair dressers and garbage workers and bakery shop owners, they just don't come across entirely human.

Instead, they come across like prim New England elites -- snooty, academic and disloyal, and oblivious to the middle class. "Tea time, anyone?"

They've got an image problem bar none.

But there's a larger problem here, and its partywide. While Democrats talk a good policy game, they continuously lose the Battle for Hearts and Minds on the road to the White House. Since Jimmy Carter fell to Ronald Reagan some two decades ago, only one Dem has broken the Curse of the Bambino and snuck into the president's chair. And like it or not, that's Bill Clinton.

How did he do it, when all others failed? The simple answer is by being from the south, and loving it. The more elaborate answer is by looking and acting like he was outside the Dem's Closed Circle.

Clinton, a policy wonk behind closed doors, was in front of the camera something far different: a gregarious, imposing, womanizing, empathetic, tear-spattering Good Old Boy from a Place Called Hope, just when the nation -- and the economy -- could use some southern gospel. He was all heart and body.

And some mind. But he saved most of his mind for when it mattered, and spoke from something that sounded like his great southern heart when it didn't. Not exactly Hillary Clinton's forte. Or John Kerry's.

But don't tell that to the Closed Circle.

Though it wouldn't much matter, anyway, because they wouldn't much listen.

Meditation on man and Superman, and Richard Pryor!

2006-12-12T17:22:00.001-06:00

I just watched the one and only "Superman III." You know, the one starring Richard Pryor?

That's right -- Richard Pryor.

Bizarre. Terrible. Hilarious. It's like an acid-trip into Bizarro world, where the production interns get free range to recreate the Superman legacy in their own image because the director is drunk and tired. I dub it "The Slapstick Superman," because it plays for laughs and oddity.

At its strangest, a green Walking Man signal in a stop-light starts a fist-fight with a red Walking Man, and traffic is thrown into a Chaplain-esque back-and-forth motion. The evil industrialist's sister gets transmorgraphied into a bionic woman by rebel computer wires that, as Pryor puts it, "want to be alive." (I paraphrase). And Supes goes from superhero to unshaven mischief maker, blowing out the Olympic Torch and straightening out the Leaning Tower of Piazza.

Worth watching ... if you're impaired.

If I were a movie critic, this is how I would rank them:

Superman I -- The Epic Superman
Every true hero has an origin story, and this epic gets it right. SEE a planet explode, a baby hold a car above his head, a teen outrun a train! HEAR the Oscar-nominated score, Marlon Brando's timeless narration, Margot Kidder's screachy overbearing theatrics. FEEL for the aging farm family that can no longer keep their all-American boy safe in Smallville, and TREMBLE at the sight of ruthless industrialist Lex Luthor, played to perfect pitch by Gene Hackman. Nominated for three Oscars. And robbed of every one of them!

Superman II -- The Brutal S&M Superman.
Superman is one of the few series where the sequel is every bit on par with the original. In this case, we're talking about the original sequel, which came right after the original Superman, follow? It's a dark, action-oriented meditation on love and sex and the year 1980, where Superman tangles with three ruthless outlaws from Krypton. These guys are genuinely scary, and each looks and acts like a reject from an S&M society party. So where have they been hiding since Krypton's demise? In a flat prison universe known as the Negative Zone, a terrifying torture reality which bookends the film (and underscores the S&M theme). SEE Superman give up his powers for love (sex is implied), and then SEE him bleed copiously for it! (See? More S&M!)

Superman III -- The Slapstick Superman / AKA Acid Trip Superman
See above. Richard Pryor plays a bumbling computer whiz who is blackmailed into taking over an orbitting satellite and using its lasers to destroy the Columbian coffee trade. Engineering a scheme to acquire all the world's oil, an evil industrialist slips man-made Kryptonite to our hero, accidentally turning him from a super-do gooder to a super mischief-maker. Superman's unanticipated reaction includes growing a five o'clock shadow, drinking at bars, sleeping with loose women, straightening the leaning Tower of Piazza, and blowing out the Olympic torch. A final fight ensues between the Man of Steel and an unstoppable living computer that Pryor designs on scrap paper and a flattened cigarette box, stashed in his pocket. Kidder is mercifully absent until the movie's final moments, when she notices the hunky diamond on Lana Lang's finger, and gets all bitchy to Clark Kent about it. And no, I'm not making even a drop of this stuff up:
http://www.supermanhomepage.com/movies/movies.php?topic=m-movie3

FUN FACT: Superman's doe-eyed smalltown love interest, struggling single mom Lana Lang, is played by Annette O'Toole, who is now seen regularly on the small screen as Martha Kent, Superman's adopted mom, in the TV show "Smallville." In other words, Superman hits on his mother. And its kind of implied that he scores...

From Supermanhomepage.com, by Wallace Harrington (wwh27539@mindspring.com):
"To me, the character that stole the show was Annette O'Tooles' Lana Lang. Her Lana seemed to validate Superman as Clark Kent. Time after time, Lois would denigrate Clark while regaling Superman, but Lana could see the goodness in both. After viewing this, I came to wish that O'Toole would return in a future Superman movie rather than Margot Kidder. Unfortunately, that was not to happen."

Superman IV -- The Quest for Closure of a Dying Franchise.
Okay, okay, its actually called the "Quest for Peace." A worthless, low-budget rush job that tries to vaguely imitate films that try to capitalize on our vague Cold War fears about nuclear proliferation, which is another big word that you don't know. A single Superman hair is stolen from a museum and used to clone a Nuclear Man, a steroidal flying freak (with a doomed acting career, here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0683565/ ) who shoots electrical bolts from any available body part. He's mute, but constantly crackling with power. Who could be behind this modern menace? Can you say Lex Luthor? Reeve has gone on record saying that when he filmed this quack job, he was pretty much clinically depressed about it. Well, maybe those are my words, not his. But he wasn't happy about it! I swear, I swear! I read it in a magazine when I was like 12 or something! At this barber shop! I was waiting for a haircut, and... Oh, never mind.

Superman II -- The 2006 Gay Pride Hoax
Some Canadian-looking son of a bitch in tights flies around lusting after a manipulative, two-timing Lois Lane (no, not Margot Kidder, but someone equally opportunistic, and equally annoying). This Lois is the ultimate social climber, keeping the men in her life dangling on a string while using their assets to further her career. Her M.O. extends to Superman, who inadvertantly helped her net a Pulitzer for her essay on his worthlessness while he's away from planet Earth finding himself: "Does the world need a Superman?" He comes back, and she's got a son. But is the tot his, or her boyfriend's? Spoiler alert: It's his. To promote this crap, they put the Canadian Superman on the cover of the Advocate, a Gay Pride Magazine, before the film came out. At least, I think they did. It was some kind of gay magazine. Look, there's nothing wrong with that, but this wasn't a particularly Gay film, and Canada boy has since gone on record denying his gayness, probably because he's being shut out of film work. (And I really do think he's Canadian.)

Is it okay if my second post is an ad for someone else's blog?

2006-12-09T19:26:00.000-06:00

I know a ring of academics and lawyers living the good life in New York City, and they've got an anti-war blog that will give you brain burn.

It's good stuff, here: www.againstwot.com

Of course, the views expressed on my friends' blogs are not necessarily the views of this blogger!

But here's a great selection from Nov. 17, after the Saddam Hussein verdict came in, which nicely explains why no one really cared about the trial:

"Naive minds think that the office of kingship lodges in the king himself, in his ermine cloak and his crown, in his flesh and bones. As a matter of fact, the office of kingship is an interrelation between people. The king is king only because the interests and prejudices of millions of people are refracted through his person. When the flood of development sweeps away these interrelations, then the king appears to be only a washed-out man with a flabby lower lip. He who was once called Alfonso XIII could discourse upon this from fresh impressions."

"So wrote Leon Trotsky about the Spanish king displaced by the establishment of the Second Spanish Republic. And one Saddam Hussein, now languishing in an Iraqi jail awaiting execution, might add some further insight..."

Their description:

The blog is called ‘Against the War on Terror’. The aim of the blog is to challenge what we see as a political consensus around the notion that the central purpose of government is to reduce threats to our security, no matter how small the risk, and at the expense of liberty.

We argue that the first principleof our society should be liberty, not security, and that the central problem with the war on terror is nothow it is conducted, but that it is being fought inthe first place. We wish to show that the war onterror is not reducible to the peculiarities of theBush administration, but also that much of the criticism of Bush fails to establish a real alternative to the pragmatism and security-based politics that dominates our society.

A truly critical, alternative position must be based on the independent principle of liberty. The blog can be found at www.againstwot.com.

The blog will have a daily post, as well as a Friday Special ofsomewhat longer length than normal posts. A brief statement of our aims and principles is available onthe blog, but it is through the posts themselves thatwe will develop our analysis and arguments. In addition to the blog, we will hold a series of events, beginning with a teach-in on February 25. Theteach-in will be a daylong event covering various specific issues in the war on terror like foreign intervention, civil liberties, political Islam, the problem with human rights, and the place of fear in American politics.

More information will soon beavailable on the blog. For now, I hope that you will visit the blogregularly, send your comments, and spread the word.

A former Coleen Rowley staffer tells all, but digs at the media too much.

2006-12-08T13:21:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, FBI legal ethicist and anti-war crusader Coleen Rowley got thumped in her Congressional bid by a pro-war, pro-Bush neo-con -- U.S. Rep. John Kline, a career U.S. Marine.

And this, in Minnesota, a (mostly) Blue-ish State that in the same election voted the first black Muslim into Congress and Democrat Amy Klobuchar into the U.S. Senate!

Now, one of Rowley's right-hand volunteers dishes the dirt about what life was like at the helm of Rowley's sinking campaign ship:

http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_georgian_061204_the_day_the_coleen_r.htm

So what happened?

Well, lots of stuff.

Georgianne Nienebar writes eloquently about the frustration of working for a candidate so morally rigid, she apparently refused to ask for big money or launch self-defense / attack ads, even while the competition was aiming for Rowley's knees and jugular.

But she also cries sour grapes, blaming the press for "abdicating" its responsibilities by not doing the candidate's work for her and saving Rowley from the ogre's mouth. Since when was it the media's role to pick sides?

A selection from Nienebar's prose:

"How did we get here? We were flunking. ... There are five possible factors: the ideology of the electorate, the conduct of the Kline campaign, the conduct of the Rowley campaign, the inattention of the press and its abdication of its responsibilities as the Jeffersonian 'fourth estate' and the indifference of the DCCC under the leadership of Rahm Emanuel."

Well, yes and no.

CANDIDATES VS. POLITICIANS
Rather than mostly point her finger at her well-meaning candidate's weaknesses and campaign foibles, Nienebar's main argument seems to be that the opposition fought dirty and money talks. And yes, those are messages that are hard to deny.

But Rowley's flaws as a candidate and the oddities of her supporters played no small part in what even the liberal City Pages -- the Minnesota equivalent of the Village Voice -- dubbed "an inept campaign": http://citypages.com/databank/27/1354/article14882.asp

It's too bad. Rowley might have made a darn good politician. Her writings on her Web site alone are well worth the read. But by her own admission, she was not a strong candidate. And yes, there is a difference -- the difference between the policymaker and the vote-getter.

Who slipped a mickey to Rowley's debate coach, if she ever had one? Why save her best endorsements from Wesley Clark and the relatives of famed Sept. 11 heroes for last? Why didn't she obtain more money, sooner, to go on the television attack? And why were her last-minute television spots rambling attacks on Bush, that never mentioned Kline?: http://www.coleenrowley.com/Video_Pages/rowley_conversion_wm.html

Rather than accept the truth, Nienebar mistakenly rails at City Pages' "unchallenged, un-researched slam" and other supposed media failures.

Not even Rowley quite agrees. Wrote Rowley, in an online post responding to Nienebar's piece:

"I don't blame the media for my loss quite as much as Georgianne, my campaign volunteer, does. But it was unfortunately true that my GOP opponent was allowed to fly below the media radar and that he ducked most public debate in favor of launching his expensive negative attack ads."

...More on that in a moment.

NO BIG MONEY FROM PAPA DONKEY
But it's Nienebar's anger with the Democratic Party's national leaders that is probably the most eyebrow-raising part of her piece -- and the most relevant.

She explains that as the leader of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee -- the Democrat's fundraising arm -- Chicago Congressman Rahm Emanuel could have opened the spigot and fed the Rowley camp some badly needed dollars. Instead, after a summer spent warring with Howard Dean over the party's national strategy, the pitbull investment banker decided to fund only yes-men candidates that kissed the party ring.

In other words, candidates whom Emanuel thought could win.

This, according to Fortune Magazine: http://money.cnn.com/2006/09/17/magazines/fortune/politics.fortune/index.htm

And to her credit, rambling Rowley -- quirky, chaotic, hyperactive and unfiltered -- wouldn't know where to begin being a yes-man.

NASTY ADS
That left Rowley with no where to hide and no strong way to fight back when Kline blanketed his district with mailers, and a last-minute slew of negative TV ads got her in the rope-a-dope. Anyone who saw Kline's television spots during the last pre-election weekend got an eyeful. His campaign assailed her for supposedly betraying the troops, belitting soldiers, wanting to reinstate the draft, and morphing his image on her Web site into that of a Nazi.

The Kline camp barely stopped short of accusing Rowley of treason. And his message worked.

Of course, none of Kline's accusations were entirely accurate, and some may not have had any shred of truth to them at all. For instance, the "Nazi" image was actually that of the bumbling Colonel Klink -- who was never explicitly identified as a Nazi on 'Hogan's Heroes' -- and according to Rowley, the unfortunate makeover was not placed on her Web site by Rowley herself, as the Kline camp claimed, but by an overeager campaign volunteer, and then quickly removed.

MEDIA MAYHEM?
No matter. The damage was done. Should the media have gone out of its way during the last campaign weekend to help her recover?

Hardly. Once a campaign has stooped so low as to paste ridiculous pictures on its Web site, it was Rowley's responsibility to distance herself from such antics, discipline the wrong-doer, and take public steps to make sure such goofiness was never associated with her again.

When the shoe was on the other foot and his staffer got caught shouting racial obscenities, Kline did it:
http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:y3emS0gKim4J:www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/news/local/15568082.htm+%22John+Kline%22+AND+Meggen+Lindsay&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1

Instead, Rowley appeared slow and hesistant to do any of those things, at least in public.

In fact, she sometimes seemed willing to capitalize on such hair-brained lunacy, but lamely, as if unsure whether it would work. The day after a small group of Rowley supporters and anti-war protestors were locked out of Kline's Burnsville office after attempting to barge in with a video camera, Rowley released a vague press release accusing the Kline camp of closing its door to constituents.

That's plain weird. And if her camp was fighting weird, she had to accept some fireballs from the Kline crew in return.

SLEEPING BEAUTY?
But in Nienebar's view, Rowley was a sleeping Snow White, almost too ethical for this world, but waiting in vain to be rescued by a handsome Prince Charming from the below-the-belt antics of the ogre-like Kline. And in this campaign fairy tale, the Prince Charming who "abdicated" his throne and his responsibility and let Rowley down was none other than the press.

By way of proof, Nienebar offers that Rowley failed to win the Pioneer Press endorsement, which was apparently authored by one of the PPress' conservative freelance columnists. Sorry, but the PPress has always been known as the more conservative of the metro area's two daily papers. That kind of treatment is to be expected. And Rowley did capture the editorial support of the Minneapolis Star Tribune and an endorsement from a large chain of suburban weeklies.

One Kline endorsement alone did not doom Rowley. And neither did the printed press.

And neither did the PPress. Rowley received at least mildly favorable coverage from the more conservative paper, here:
http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:U3FskPIYDfMJ:www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/local/15897387.htm+%22Frederick+Melo%22+AND+rowley&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=2

And here: http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:lWGJH5h0Z_kJ:www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/politics/15756760.htm+%22Frederick+Melo%22+AND+rowley&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1

Meanwhile, Kline picked up some negative PPress coverage, here, and in the story mentioned earlier about the staffer's racist comments:
http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:2a-2_0mTdPQJ:www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/local/15656682.htm+%22John+Kline%22+AND+Frederick+Melo&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1

So why did Rowley lose?

Maybe because it was a conservative district. Maybe because people knew of her, but not enough voters really knew her. And maybe her lack of television ads, her rambling and independent style, and her weak on-the-spot debating skills just doomed her from the start.